Big Sale for the Scrappers!

Ok this is for all you scrappers who read...
Memorable Seasons is having a HUGE sale starting today....

ALL Stamps,inks, etc 50% off!
ALL Patterned Paper, 70% off!

If you are not a scrapbooker, this may mean nothing to you... BUT if you are, this means, you should stop reading this now and go fill up a cart with these goodies fast, before they are gone!!

Ok, back to post Christmas celebrating!

so, you wanna know...

You want to know why I am such a champion of blog slacktivity...

It is because my brain is gone.

For real.

Missing.

No longer with us. (well, me)

Out of here.

Hit the road.

Adios Muchachos. (goodnight irene)

It is gone...

I now do things like this...

Mail packages to myself. Yeah, it is true. I addressed a priority box to my nephew, with his street address, and my town, state, and zip. I was grossly embarrassed when the lovely mail carrier that brought it back introduced himself to me... because we go to church together! ACK!!!!! I am sure I have just jumped to his "airhead list". The best part... in my trash in the office, there sits a correctly addressed mailing label. I threw it out and re-wrote it because it didn't look "neat" enough. Being anal, it really pays off. I had to take the box back and pay to mail it again...

see brain.

see brain go.

brain is gone.

bye brain...

Proof#2 -

I went to buy my lovely husband chocolate ice cream for his birthday. Well, thanks to my mother and her curious ways, I cannot take the front box,bottle,container, etc. of anything in any store at anytime. If I am buying deodorant, milk, butter, it does not matter... I reach past the first one and take the one behind it... or if we need to be really safe, I go two or three deep. Yep, sadly this even applies to greeting cards. (you think i am kidding... all of my sisters will vouch for me!) So.... I grab the chocolate ice cream behind the first one...

and got it home

and put it in the freezer

only to discover

it was butter pecan.

I have been married to a chocoholic long enough to know that vanilla ice cream laced with pecans is in no way, shape or form, a viable substitute for chocolate. Telling Micah my mistake was highly embarrassing.

So, in closing...

well, there is no closing, I already told you I lost my brain. I am certifiably stupid.

but i still remember how to upload scrap stuff...

These were all made with October Afternoon's Paper line called "WeatherVane" from Memorable Seasons. BTW, Jill is having a HUGE sale starting December 26th... go HERE for all the details! :)

Hold your Breath...

I have been informed that I have not updated this blog enough lately... sorry. You can blame the three small children who walk behind me at all times saying Mom, mommy and mamamamamamama... Sadly I think Alden now calls milk "Mama". I feel cheated at being replaced by a beverage, but oh well...

So, many who know me, know that, I am not a big fan of the mall. I loathe the crime laden parking lot, the crowds, the teens who look like call girls. Seriously, the last time I went I thought, wow, the hookers must be using the mall for a pick up spot now. Then, said hookers hopped on their middle school field trip bus. Oh, my mistake.

Anyhoo... Me, the mall, not a love relationship. Alas, one Friday, we were there. It was approximately 3:30 in the afternoon, and the crowds were insane. Clearly, the mall was not a spot where reporters would be yapping about the recession. After getting a watch fixabroked... yeah, that is a new word. It is when you take a very lovely, expensive watch to have the battery replaced, the woman takes it in the back to do so, and you hear "POUND POUND POUND" echoing loudly through the store. She returns, your battery, not in, and says, "Did you know your crystal was broken?"

Seriously? Do I look this dumb? I looked and her, and without any hint of humor said, "No, no it was NOT broken when I came in here."

She never said another word, she just packed it up to send it off for fixing. I could not believe she tried to blame me after hearing her pounding the crap out of it in the back. I remained pleasant because A) I want my watch back and B)There was clearly no manager around to complain to anyway. That is the reason for the new word, fixabroked.

Now, onto the real reason for this post:

Holding your breath.

We make our next stop in the mall of doom, Micah goes inside and I am left in the front of the store with Alden, who is in his stroller. I spoke to a young dad in there, also with a baby in a stroller.

Well, after a couple minutes of parental back and forth small talk... "How old is he?", "Look at that hair!", "He is so cute", his wife appears and he heads into the back to look around. She and I begin the chatter only, now... now the chatter is not so good.

"Aw," I say, "your little guy looks sleepy!"

She says...

"Yeah, is sick. He has a little pneumonia." (Um, mental note, little and pneumonia, not really two words I put together.)

"Really?" I say.

"Yeah," she coughs. More coughing, then, "He got it from me, I have been sick for like two, (cough, hack, cough) weeks. It turns out I have a contagious type of pneumonia." (cough, cough, cough.)

WHAT???????????

You just told me you have contagious pneumonia, gave it to your baby, and coming to the MALL seemed like a good idea? REALLY????????????

I think it was then, that I took the first big breath... and held it. She kept talking and I kept taking little tiny steps backward, turning Alden ever so slightly away.

Thankfully, Micah came out and paid and we left the pneumonia family behind. As we go to get on the elevator, I tell Micah about the potential germ exposure... Over his shoulder, at the same moment we hear the ding of the elevator, they appear...

to join us.

in the elevator.

the very small elevator

where we will be trapped

and forced to breath the same pneumonia infested air.

"Haha, we are really not following y'all," jokes the husband.

Yeah, you aren't but your PNEUMONIA germs are!!!!!!!
I took one more big breath before boarding and was only able to communicate via a grin, a thumbs up or a nod. I was not letting that breath out for anything. We finally get off the germ express, and I fall out, gasping for fresh air... they are still behind us, and all I can hear is ...

cough

hack

cough

hack

Finally the pneumonia family made their way down a different hall.

As we walked to the car, I told Micah I felt my lungs were filling up with fluid.

He looked at me, scowled, and said, "Jude, you cannot catch and develop pneumonia in five minutes."

Ok, whatever...
The moral of the story is the mall is no place for me or anyone not capable of taking large breaths for long amounts of time.

Here are some pages from December Daily Album... click to enlarge. I have more days done, but I am too lazy to get them scanned at this point in time. :)

The cover:

Day one:

Day 2:

Day 1&2, this is how they look layered:

Day 3:

Day4:

Day 5:

Day 6:

Day 7:

In honor of Sarah...

In honor of my dear friend, Sarah...

She celebrated a birthday this week.

So our new word is for her...

Thirtytwoedness - as in the age of 32 being celebrated. Use it in a sentence you say? Ok, here it is...

Today I ate too many chicken wings whilst celebrating my friend Sarah's thirtytwoedness.

And yes, you can substitute other ages as well. Except for 4o - cause I will never be 4o that is for darn sure!

Speaking of friends... some new Los about some of mine and a couple others for good measure.

Statistical Thursday...

Hello Thursday. Here is your post...

Did you know that for mothers the word "NO" is said more than any other word? It takes a 45% share of total word usage, followed by "Stop touching each other" at 33% and holding its own with a 29% share of word usage.... drum-roll please...
"Can I please just pee alone?"

Herein ends the first ever Statistical Thursday post.

(*note, as stated earlier, all statistics are made up, therefore are completely useless, except for the times you start a sentence with "They say.." or "I heard.." )

Who is running this Blog anyway?

So... I realized I have become the slackingest blogger ever. Well, ok, not ever, but still. I just noticed the last update was October 6th. So... I am going to start some short and sweet type posts... in any given week we will have:

Made up Quote Monday - Yes, I will make up thought provoking, inspired, and truly forgettable quotes for you. (no, forgettable was not a typo, hang with the sarcasm folks.)

Treat Yourself Tuesday - Ideas for how to give your self a little boost by doing something fun for you. Ideas have been pouring in, so as soon as I narrow it down between "Digging out Your Own Hang Nails" and "Making the Most of Laundry Time". I will be sharing these amazing ideas for stealing some fun alone time. I know, it seems selfish, but hey...

We are too busy to ever blog on Wednesdays - So yeah, Wednesdays, not a good day for blogging, hence, there is basically just no Wednesday in this blog's world. End of story. So long hump day, "pjs are clothes" will miss you.

Statistical Thursday - Need a number? We will have them. I plan on making up all manner of important statistics for the general public's use. For example, did you know that 20% of blog readers never make it past the first paragraph of a photoless blog? I guess you are in the 80% side huh? Stay tuned, I plan on reporting the exact number of mother's with screaming babies in public who really do lose their minds, and the huge spike in migraine medicine sales based on the number of political debates on TV.

Flaunt a new Word Friday - Yep, I will randomly post a new word for you, with a definition. It is like a word a day calendar, only these are made up words, and they are not posted daily. Other than that, totally the same.

Air it out Saturday - one line, short list style, of things that made me annoyed this week... wait did I just say short list? For real? hahahahaha...

So, hang in there blogadopes (definition for that Friday!! ) I will try and be better based on the above choices. Mind you, this does NOT mean I plan on posting these daily. It means that if I wake up at 2:15am on a Thursday night, and have nothing worthwhile to share, I can access the Statistical Thursday option and be done... nice..

But here is a photo and a LO to keep you around just in case.

This was taken at the park when we went hiking with some friends this week. I totally had a mosquito on my nose in the original. I used that cloning tool thingy in photoshop to fix it. Can you see how proud I am of myself? I still have no clue how to get pictures on a "blank canvas" as all you photoshop experts call it, but by george, I CAN get a mosquito off my nose.

Alert! Alert! Alert!

Ladies, who are reading this, (apologies to any of the few men who might be) this is an important public service message!

DO NOT, and I mean...

NEVER

EVER

EVER

leave your husband at home alone when the DISH satellite service man comes to install your new cable lines.

Now, let me explain first that, I am now, and remain solidly opposed to the "dish on the house." In fact, I loathe it. Out here in Po-Dunk Hollar' we cannot get nary a channel, even with rabbit ears. So, being the football loving, America's Next Top Model Watching, girl that I am, we have had the minimal cable package available, for quite some time. The problem is, again, out here in the hollar' we have to pay $15 a month for what I call "clear up the channel cable". It makes the local channels clear, and we get a bizarre assortment of odd channels,(really, there is a 24 hour infomercial type channel...who buys flat irons and rug cleaner at 4am anyway?) and the WE channel is a bonus fuzzy one. I was fine with this, despite the fact that city residents pay only $6 a month for the same service, really Ted Turner, we country folk don't mind at all...

So, my phone company has let me know, via a huge new bill, that the internet deal we currently have is gone, done, never again to be... great. So, in a nutshell, we could get a "package" deal from them for less than the new phone bill and cable were... and we would get more channels... wowee, more tv to tell my kids they are not allowed to watch, I cannot tell you the excitement it gives me.

Now,a lovely young gentleman, by the name of Kyle, comes to install our satellite. Micah comes in to help since I have no clue about cable lines and such. Of course, I am hoping the little dish can be hidden behind some tree limbs on the roof. Apparently, that gives you a problem with reception. Whatever. Well, before I can blink, I see that there is a nice new black cable coming down the side of my home, and a little dish will be greeting me if I look up and right when I enter and exit the home. Sweet. I am beginning to regret this decision already.

Well, we have a second TV that was only hooked up to play DVDs occasionally for the boys. This was moved into my home while I was gone one day, I am opposed to the second Tv's very existence.

Kyle came in and asked about cable in the little room where Tv #2, aka demonTV is. There IS cable in there, but it is on the OPPOSITE side of the room, and being that our house is creeping up on the 100 year old mark, the crawl space is really more of a "shimmy through spiders" space. So Micah and Kyle are discussing our options. This is where the ALERT comes in...

They were going to run a NEW cable along the side of the house, to the room. As in, a thick black, cable over my cute little windows, above the door, and down the other side to get to the TV.

WHOA!!! I came outside just in the nick of time...

I made sure they left the cable as IS because I cannot imagine that cables down the side and door are a good option for any home. Really. I have never seen this on a Martha Stewart segment, in Better Homes and Garden, or anywhere else that decorating advice is given.

This is where Kyle and Micah both stop and look at me funny, like what is the big deal with the cable running there. Here is where I should mention the mullet that Kyle is sporting. And honestly... it is true that, yes, yes you can cut a mullet incorrectly, and folks, Kyle has been done wrong at the Cuttin' Corral.

I suggest leaving the cable where it is and moving the TV for now, despite the fact that the easy chair in that room does not fit in the other corner properly. I did this because in my head, I know I am planning on getting rid if the Demon Tv. I am plotting the coup as I type.

So ladies, really... this is why you should never leave your husband and the DISH man at home alone. They love cable, and have no fear of running mass amounts of it across ceilings, door frames, and other areas cable should not be!

Be on alert.

Stay the course.

Hold your ground.

Down with the dish.

Godspeed...

Here are some new scrappies...

And here is the fat dog, "skypeing" with Beth and Chrissy... too cute!

Happy Birthday to the Fat Dog!

One year ago today I was having nice regular contractions...

I was about to welcome our third little bundle into the world...

He has been THE BEST baby I could ever ask for and today we are celebrating him in all his one year glory. :)

(and you can read the full story of Alden's arrival HERE and HERE.)

At age one:

Alden likes to climb on the table, just to sit and see what is there.

Alden likes to eat dirt.

Alden wants to shove his fingers in the VCR.

Alden signs milk, and more please.

Alden hates carrots.

Alden loves oatmeal.

Alden loves to wrestle with daddy and his brothers.

Alden can say Mama, Dada, and night-night... but rarely does so!

Alden loves to climb up the stairs.

Alden rarely gets whiney.

Alden is almost ready to walk, almost.

Alden... we love you...

Happy Birthday Fat Dog....

Some photos from his first day, one year ago:

One last belly shot, though sadly, I think I could STILL re-enact it.

All set up and ready to go!

He is here... and I am in love!

Yes, that scale says 10lbs 6½oz. And don't leave off the ½, I want full credit! ;0

The proud Daddy. We are a great team, and I could never do this without him.

The cutie pie...

And yesterday afternoon... eating dirt, but still cute...

So... HAPPY

BIRTHDAY

ALDEN JUSTICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And a glorious time was had by all...

So, I have become THE slackingest blogger I know. (Ah, but I gave you new wordage right off the bat - slackingest)

I do have some good reasons...

the sun - it was out,which meant my kids were wanting to be outside. Since I don't have a laptop, and I realized the hard way PCs don't like extension cords, I was outside alot.

the rain - it rained alot thanks to hannah, gustav, and other strangely named hurricanes. I say we name them all more unkindly... like Jezebel, Lucifer, etc... then we could say things like, "That stinking Jezebel! Tore my roof off!" When you use the sweeter names, it just loses something, "That stinking Hannah, she flooded our basement!" See, Hannah just cannot sound as cruel coming out as Jezebel. Apologies to all Jezebels reading this.

And finally... I was out of town...

I was with these three...


Having a blast at Scrapfest at the Mall of America.

Don't let anyone fool you either, Minneapolis is a very cool city with a great downtown area. Of course, Micah did say that you could only enjoy its coolness three months out of the year before it was buried in snow...

Really, here are some things I learned...

Chrissy and I are great travel partners. We got to ride the Chicago to MN plane together and had much fun,despite the fact that I almost puked on her. Note, if you have a friend you can survive air travel with, hold onto them...

Beth is the most thoughtful and amazing hostess ever. I will seriously never forget how truly kind she is and how special she made us feel. And hello, she even bought me candy corn.

Nicole and I share a mutual hatred of wet toilet seats. LOL. Plus, she gave each of us the Ali book... now I ask you, is there even a word for friends like this?

So, we had a grand time, and will always remember fun things like...

Cherry picking - move left, now right, now left a bit...

I am a narcoleptic, this is my helper, she has to come to class with me.

Who does Beth know now?

Bacon Bits, good for the belly, not for the sink...

Did I fall asleep again?

***

And finally, here are some scrapations (scrap + creations = scrapations.)

All the goodies used to made these came from the lovely store Memorable Seasons.

The site is having an on-line crop 9/27... come, scrap, win free stuff. Ok, ad over... ;)

Until next time, when I will share the harrowing tales of the airport...

Why did no one warn me?

So, people who have had a crappy week, and are almost to a point of needing medicine, booze, or vast amounts of junk food to perk up, should be warned that watching the movie PS I Love You, on a Saturday afternoon, alone, whilst the fat dog sleeps, and the other men folk are gone is not, I repeat NOT a good idea.

Seriously. I am 50 minutes into this sobfest of a film and am only taking a break to get more tissues... at least my sinuses will be cleared out.

If there are other movies like this, I would greatly appreciate a heads up...

I have had a bad bad bad week, and maybe this movie is a good reminder that I could be all alone. My neighbor told me this week, without knowing the intense foulness of my days,

"The only thing we deserve is Hell, anything above that is a gift..."

Wow.

Talk about a slap upside my whiny head...

OK, back to the flick... I will let you know how I liked it soon.

Okay, so the fat dog woke up, in the midst of the cry fest cinema afternoon... I brought him down and he looked at me like I had three heads for all the nose blowing. The movie ended, I liked the ending, but still, a very sad little flick. It is one of those that makes you appreciate your husband and family alot more. I admit it, I felt really guilty because I was ready for them to go today... I have have been slobbered on, sneezed on, called stinky, and snotted on a total of 1,286,542 times in the last 24 hours, so when they were leaving and Lincoln kissed me so hard he hurt my cheek, Emerson stepped on my foot, then gave me a boogery kiss, I looked at Micah and was like, "Go, please. I need to be alone." And now I feel all guilty for that because hello? I may have a brain tumor like Jerry and what if I don't have time to write all those letters and arrange a trip for Micah to the place we met and would I be a good shoe designer? ... see the power of film...

Oops, forgot to post this Saturday, but here it is, and maybe the delay is because thanks to a good Sunday, God's almost literally whispering in my ear, "Suck it up!" and a patient husband, and I am feeling more like myself. (Even if that means I need to change things about myself... always SUCH a fun process.)

In closing, I have only two LOs and some cute pics of the FatDog and the boys to share... apparently wanting to crawl in a dark hole or move far, far away last week did not spark my creative juices... imagine that.

Anyhoo... I will try and be back with a better post later this week...

(as always, click to enlarge)

Couldn't you just eat him up? He looks like an old fashioned baby with that onsie on!!

Our little comedian... always keeps us laughing with the one liners!

My big man on the first day of school. I actually did not cry, until I returned home. I was too shocked at the bus being over an hour late, I think. And I held it together when the bus did not return him until 5, yes 5pm. He did great, but has asked if he could go back to his old school :( That kills me!

Now here is a LO for Unpubbed. This one is a lift challenge we have going. You lift my LO, seen here, and you win the kit I put together, seen below. You have until next month to get it done too! Very simple, and yes, I did have to black out the personal info!

This one was for an Open Call, again over at Unpubbed.

Until next time...