Monday, March 22, 2010

Manly Men...

I was chatting with my hip pal Martha. We were chatting about our husbands and their true manly man ways. It inspired me to let the internet world, and the 8 people who read this blog, know the following...

How to know if you have a manly man: (in no particular order)

1. He has beat someone up. No, I don't mean in a redneck bar brawl. I mean in the name of justice, and defending the right. When we were dating some guy made a less than pure joke about me, and all I know is, his neck was in Micah's hand whilst his body was slightly lifted off the ground and my Micah calmly explained that this, this was not something he should ever say again. I admit it, I swooned at being defended. Manly Man.

2. You know your man is a manly man if he laughs at pain. Pepper spray hurts, alot. I barely got a dusting in my face once and was sucking ice water up my nose and declaring my impending blindness. Micah was sprayed in the face, full on whilst he was a police officer. He laughed, literally, at the pain. Others cussed, cried for their mamas (shudder) or begged to be taken to the ER. Not my Micah. Manly Man.

3. A manly man has at some point, been employed in a job that entails carrying a weapon. Bonus points if he also has a knife hidden somewhere on him as well. Manly Man with a paycheck.

4. You know your man has it if he has ever walked up to a soccer coach who just yelled at your kid, undeservedly at that, and shakes his hand, but lets him know that this, this will not happen again. By the end, the coach is apologizing to not only your man, but your kid. This is handled with a smile, and not rudeness or threats. The Manly man just oozes influential testosterone.

5. If you have ever been puking sick, rendered smelly, ugly, and gross... you will know your man's manliness levels quickly. Manly man holds your hair and helps you get in a hot shower. (yeah, manly man likes to help when you are naked, tis true. But, he is your husband, and a manly also likes to see his woman in the buff. note: HIS woman.)

6. You know a manly man is there, when he looks at his firstborn. That bond is there, and it is palpable. A Manly Man tells you, you are amazing, and then changes a diaper. Wipe it Manly Man.

7. Washing dishes? For a manly man? Oh yes... Manly man can kill his own meal AND clean up the pan he made it in, that combination is what makes him a manly man.

8. A manly man teaches his children. He tells them how to wrestle, ride a bike, use a pocket knife, play games, respect a woman, and pray. Teach 'em Manly Man.

9. The most important feature of the Manly Man... he loves Jesus more than he loves you...

See, you read those first few and thought it was going to be all Tim Allen- grunt and scratch-outdoor channel- kind of stuff...

And yes, I realize the list is an even nine, not ten. My manly man can proof read too, and he will let me know if that is a terrible faux pas or not. My Micah is amazing for more than a goofy list can ever convey, and yes. I still swoon over him. Alot.

Sorry ladies, this manly man is taken... go get your own...

Oh, and PS: One more opinion based insight... A Manly Man never wears skinny jeans. A straight fit, yes. I'll even go ya' a tapered leg, but true skinny jeans... not happening.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Wow... its been a while.

Wow, over a month without a post... worry not, it was just that, well... I was busy, and tired, and lazy. Oh, and my back hurts from getting crunched in a car accident back in January. A lady ran a red light and t-boned me and Alden. On our side. It was scary, and I am very thankful Alden is ok. Alas, the green beast, my beloved Excursion is no more. I am sad. I loved that huge hunk of metal. We got another SUV ... a suburban, which, I refer to as "little". I have also realized that a sage green vehicle does not show dirt nearly as fast as a black one, heated seats are miraculous, and that insurance companies have a different idea of "replacement value" than I do.

So, February came and went. I was going to post on Valentine's Day, purely because, for yet another year, my cupid day started with some form of defecation, other than my own. I awoke to the sound of a toilet and the words, "wet tootie". Wow. It was great. I do not feel bad at all that I threw those little boy undies out quicker than a wet tootie surprised the cheeks that used to reside in them.

I was also busy almost burning down our garage and our neighbor's shed. I would say not to tell him that, but I really doubt he or anyone else still reads this here blog. It started out innocently enough, I was piling up and burning the hay-like grass that grew in the garden over the fall. I was all raking and burning... feeling very pioneer like in my outdoorsy accomplishments. Until I went to the far end of the garden, threw my rake out to reel in some more hay-grass and realized, there was some other already-on-fire grass still stuck in my rake. That meant that quicker than a SAHM says yes to free babysitting, the back end of the garden caught on fire. Alot of fire. I tried to whack it out with my rake, that did not work for obvious reasons. Then I started yelling for Micah, who was in the way way way backyard. I kid you not, he turned around, saw me being engulfed in flames, and gave me the "wait just a minute" sign.

WHAT!?!? I am being burned alive! The garage is going to burn to the ground! Haven't you seen Backdraft?!?!!

Apparently he thinks I am a bit dramatic. Whatever.
He finally saunters over, and after we untangle the hose, and frantically figure out which of the four sprayers is on, we put out the four alarmer. Lincoln did his part by running in the house, getting a big cup of water. I had to laugh. My garden area now looks a like a charred out war zone, but I hope to till next week and gain back some measure of pride.

I also trekked to Trader Joes. I love, and I do mean love TJs. I stocked up on wine, (their $4 Riesling is AMAZING!) and yummy goodies like hummus and pita chips, then, I stumbled upon it...
Lemon Curd.
Hmmm, what is this I say? My traveling buddy for the day, Kerry, did not share my excitement for the Lemon Curd. I put it back. Perhaps I was crazy, thinking curd of lemon was going to be good. We decided maybe it would be weird and the uncertainty of potential grossness outweighed my curiosity. We strolled some more, and then, before checking out, I decided to roll the dice and get some.
Sin in a jar.
It is so good... as in, eat it by the spoonful good. I decided I would share it with my friend Kim. I think she is almost british the way she loves tea and such. We could have tea, biscuits and lemon curd. I had to admit that before I could arrange tea time, I had eaten all the lemon curd. A little spoonful here and there added up. Humiliating, yes. The silver lining is that now, potentially, whenever my friend JMac goes to TJs she will get me one. (oh, was that a hint? yes, yes it was.)

So I have been busy with all that exciting stuff. I know, a life with this kind of adventure has you all full of envy this morning. I apologize, I mean, not everyone can live this lavishly. Eating lemon curd from the jar, wet tooties and burning garden brush. Don't hate me ok...

Some scrappy stuff done during my hiatus: