Sunday, September 25, 2011


Fact:  It is impossible to stay made at someone for peeing on the bathroom floor whilst they are wearing an IronMan costume.

Fact:  I guarantee there will be some Jay Leno type who will ask me if that was Micah referenced above.
Fact:  I am quite pleased with the Bills season so far. Please note, I am not "jumping on the bandwagon." I never left the bandwagon... I just hid under the dashboard  for a few seasons...
Fact: I watched a woman get on the airplane last week wearing scrubs. Yes, like doctor-nurse scrubs. I suddenly wondered why I bothered to piece together my cute "Please pick me for a free upgrade to first class" outfit...

 Fact: I put together a journal cover using iPhone photos, and I am way too excited about its arrival. Nerd. Yes. Don't care. Love photos.
Fact: I have not made a "real" scrapbook page in months. I have been keeping up with my Project Life though. And by "keeping up" I mean that I am getting ready to start August.
Fact:  I have also been keeping up with my self photos every day. There is a sharp increase in the number of iphone photos at this point, and I am ok with that.

Fact: I love thrift stores and other people's old junk way too much. (PS. I got this one for FREE. Yes, f-r-e-e)

Fact: I read the book "Sarah's Key" in a ridiculously short amount of time, so that I could go see the movie before it left a small, local theater. I may have also convinced a friend to do the same. I love a willing accomplice...

Fact: I think organic meat in the grocery store is a huge crock of malarkey.
Fact: I have no clue what malarkey is, but I am trying to use the word crap less, so there it is. Malarkey.
Fact: I hope no one tells me to "just google" malarkey.
Fact: This list is done. Why? Because I just used the word malarkey in last three facts. Crap, make that four...

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Funeral at the casa...

This is a baby kitten.

Micah and the boys found it in the field behind our house. We figure it was the runt of the litter, so the mama left it behind. You can imagine how thrilled I was. I don't care for cats. I would use the word hate, but then someone will e-mail me about how cruel it is to say you hate the little felines. Moody creatures who poop in plastic box in my home, that I must then clean out? No thanks.  In this home, I got the moody quotient taken care of, and really... we have the poop thing covered as well.
So... we don't want a cat.

Add to the above, my children's horrific allergies to them, and the deal is sealed.
But come on... I am not a heartless tyrant. So before you know it, I am dropper feeding the little furball. Hadji was of course attached from the moment he saw him.

Even the first night, I tried to warn them, the kitten might die. Insert crying here. Oh, and Alden, hands in the air, saying, "calm down, just calm down everyone. I is going to dream a little dream bout this kitty, and he'll be ok." (I think he considers dreams and prayer the same thing)
So we continued our dropper feedings, whilst Alden and Hadji pet the kitten with gloves on. Until Sunday night...
When the kitten died. Ugh.

So, Monday we break the news to them, they are sad. we console. not nearly as many tears as I expected. After school, it is funeral time. Here are some burial do and don'ts :

1. Try and recall or view the Cosby show episode where Rudy's fish died, and channel your inner Bill Cosby.
2. Immediately discourage any talk of a cremation. Yes, I was asked, and no, I did not oblige. 
3. Use a simple box for a coffin. I chose an amazon box, and admit, I felt it a little tacky on my part to leave the shipping labels. Hey, maybe the cat will get free two day shipping to heaven?
4. Choose a nice spot, like under a tree.
5. Do not choose a willow tree. Apparently, their roots do not run all that deep, and we hit them every time we tried to dig. I had already given the glorious spot such a hard sell to the boys, there was no going back. 
6. Have a name for your cat.
7.  I let Emerson name this one, and he wanted to call him "4 White" because he had four white paws. I decided that sounded a little too skinhead, so we went with "4 Paw".
8. Bring tissues.
9. I did not, and at one point, I went from having three tearful boys, to two gut laughing ones, as the third blew snot on the ground. I believe Lincoln encouraged the snot spewing with the line, "Be a man Hadj, and just blow that snot out!"
10. At the point number 9 occurred, I was done with proper funeral protocol, and just said a little prayer and we were done...

Until Alden asked if we could dig the cat back up again. I hid the shovels just to be safe.

RIP Kitty.

Wednesday, September 07, 2011

Mean Movie Mama...

Is it mean to purposely put movies in your netflix queue that involve animals and sadness, just because you know it will make your child cry? Oh, it is? Then, I think, that I am, technically, a mean mama. I didn't start off with this intention. I innocently put the movie, "Where the Red Fern Grows" in the queue last year. I had never even seen it, and guess what?

Oops, I think I am supposed to yell "spoiler alert" before that. Too late.
Now, once I saw how my little toughie Hadji took the tragic movie, I was addicted. I mean, like a caffeine- addict- watching- the- pot- brew -addict. I found any movie with an animal and loaded it into the queue. Not all are tragic, but I admit... I think it is good for him to get in touch with his emotional side. NOTE: I said emotional side, not feminine side. Two very different things folks...

Anyway, I had no clue when I loaded the Velveteen Rabbit in, that it was SO STINKING SAD. I left the room for a minute, near the end of the movie, and hear sobs. I mean, audible gasps, sniffles, and maybe even a little gnashing of teeth. I walk in and Hadji is just bawling. Then I look and Alden is too. It was beyond pitiful. Apparently, they actually BURN the rabbit. (scarlet fever + germy stuffed rabbit = firepit )

Poor Hadji. I finally said, once the movie was over, "Well... did you like it?
His reply, "Well, I did until the end, when they BURNED him!"

I tried to make the best of it, "but look Hadji, he turns into a real bunny! A real live bunny!"
Tearful response, "Yeah, until a hunter shoots him..."

Alrighty then...