Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Funeral at the casa...

This is a baby kitten.

Micah and the boys found it in the field behind our house. We figure it was the runt of the litter, so the mama left it behind. You can imagine how thrilled I was. I don't care for cats. I would use the word hate, but then someone will e-mail me about how cruel it is to say you hate the little felines. Moody creatures who poop in plastic box in my home, that I must then clean out? No thanks.  In this home, I got the moody quotient taken care of, and really... we have the poop thing covered as well.
So... we don't want a cat.

Add to the above, my children's horrific allergies to them, and the deal is sealed.
But come on... I am not a heartless tyrant. So before you know it, I am dropper feeding the little furball. Hadji was of course attached from the moment he saw him.

Even the first night, I tried to warn them, the kitten might die. Insert crying here. Oh, and Alden, hands in the air, saying, "calm down, just calm down everyone. I is going to dream a little dream bout this kitty, and he'll be ok." (I think he considers dreams and prayer the same thing)
So we continued our dropper feedings, whilst Alden and Hadji pet the kitten with gloves on. Until Sunday night...
When the kitten died. Ugh.

So, Monday we break the news to them, they are sad. we console. not nearly as many tears as I expected. After school, it is funeral time. Here are some burial do and don'ts :

1. Try and recall or view the Cosby show episode where Rudy's fish died, and channel your inner Bill Cosby.
2. Immediately discourage any talk of a cremation. Yes, I was asked, and no, I did not oblige. 
3. Use a simple box for a coffin. I chose an amazon box, and admit, I felt it a little tacky on my part to leave the shipping labels. Hey, maybe the cat will get free two day shipping to heaven?
4. Choose a nice spot, like under a tree.
5. Do not choose a willow tree. Apparently, their roots do not run all that deep, and we hit them every time we tried to dig. I had already given the glorious spot such a hard sell to the boys, there was no going back. 
6. Have a name for your cat.
7.  I let Emerson name this one, and he wanted to call him "4 White" because he had four white paws. I decided that sounded a little too skinhead, so we went with "4 Paw".
8. Bring tissues.
9. I did not, and at one point, I went from having three tearful boys, to two gut laughing ones, as the third blew snot on the ground. I believe Lincoln encouraged the snot spewing with the line, "Be a man Hadj, and just blow that snot out!"
10. At the point number 9 occurred, I was done with proper funeral protocol, and just said a little prayer and we were done...

Until Alden asked if we could dig the cat back up again. I hid the shovels just to be safe.

RIP Kitty.


  1. awe poor kitty!
    you handled that very well, Jude, for not liking kitties at all. :)

  2. Anonymous10:06 AM

    That is hysterical! I mean sad...

  3. I'm not a fan of cats either but it was so sweet of you to dropper feed it! Your boys are hilarious!

  4. oh my word jude. poor kitty. but i do think you did really well for not liking the thing :)