Thursday, November 14, 2013

Hey, Target... it's not too late.

I am not going to address this as a "Dear Target" letter...
I am highly doubting the CEO will be reading the rantings of
a crazy redheaded mom of three wild boys.
But they should.
Because this crap matters.

I was slightly aghast when I saw this story:

Really Target?
8 pm on Thanksgiving?
Wow, I guess you really are striving to be the Walmart of the middle class.
I am disappointed.
Why couldn't you just wait a few more hours?

Costco did.
I commend them.
And I gotta tell ya'... I plan on buying as many of my Christmas gifts there now instead.
I said it.
Target, you're out this holiday season.

But it's not too late!
Target... you CAN still back up and punt!
Pay those employees anyway, the ones assigned to work on that day.
Run TV ads with the change to close instead on Thanksgiving.
Do you realize what a GOLDMINE of good advertising you have here???
If you will just do the right thing.
I for one would show up (um, admittedly in the afternoon) and spend MORE if you did.
And eh... isn't that kind of the point? 

So I implore you dear, dear, dear, Target... please.
Close on Thanksgiving.

And Mr. and Mrs. Shopper... you DO have a choice where you spend your dollars.
What are you saying with yours? 

Monday, November 11, 2013

Google and Shallots

I bought shallots last week.
I am not sure why.
If I have ever eaten a shallot, I didn't know it.

I have never cooked with a shallot.
I don't have a recipe that requires a shallot.
I don't even own real "cookbooks" that would tell me what to do with a shallot.

So that is how I ended up awake at 3am one night,
Googling, "What can I make with a shallot?"

And apparently they are like an onion, but not an onion.
Mostly people like to caramelize them, which I am all for.
I learned how to properly caramelize onions this summer. (it is a long process, but oh so worth it.)
I may or may not have eaten two ginormous onions that I caramelized.
I have no regrets.

But now, now my Google search has that embarrassing fact forever etched in my
digital footprint. I am sure someone at Google or the NSA is going,
"HA! What a bonehead! She bought a shallot and doesn't even know what to do with it."

I am disturbed by the Google Search History.
It's like a diary of all the stupid things we are too embarrassed to ask our fellow humans.

Google Search: Are sheep and lambs the same thing?
Google Search: What is the difference between a disease and a disorder?
Google Search: How do I read my cholesterol test results?
Google Search:  Amanda Bynes (oh yes! I did! I had to see her freakish new face!)
Google Search: Calories in a Costco Hot Dog? (don't do it, just don't.)
Google Search: Are Sequoias and Redwoods the same?
Google Search: How to zoom in on firefox? (shut up, I forgot, ok?) 
Google Search: Where does dew come from? (my kids are no longer satisfied with, 'God made it')
Google Search: How old is Pat Sajak? 
Google Search: Pee Smell in Bathroom
Google Search: Football Girdle
Google Search:  Substitute for______. There are literally tons of these in my search history. I think the sheer volume of pumpkin spice substitutes I have googled should be a clear indicator that I need to just buy some dang pumpkin spice.

And worst of all, I am too scared to search the one most helpful thing...
"How do I clear my Google Search History?"

So, I am off to search "Nancy O'Dell's plastic surgery."
I figure at this point, its go big or go home...