Monday, March 22, 2010

Manly Men...

I was chatting with my hip pal Martha. We were chatting about our husbands and their true manly man ways. It inspired me to let the internet world, and the 8 people who read this blog, know the following...

How to know if you have a manly man: (in no particular order)

1. He has beat someone up. No, I don't mean in a redneck bar brawl. I mean in the name of justice, and defending the right. When we were dating some guy made a less than pure joke about me, and all I know is, his neck was in Micah's hand whilst his body was slightly lifted off the ground and my Micah calmly explained that this, this was not something he should ever say again. I admit it, I swooned at being defended. Manly Man.

2. You know your man is a manly man if he laughs at pain. Pepper spray hurts, alot. I barely got a dusting in my face once and was sucking ice water up my nose and declaring my impending blindness. Micah was sprayed in the face, full on whilst he was a police officer. He laughed, literally, at the pain. Others cussed, cried for their mamas (shudder) or begged to be taken to the ER. Not my Micah. Manly Man.

3. A manly man has at some point, been employed in a job that entails carrying a weapon. Bonus points if he also has a knife hidden somewhere on him as well. Manly Man with a paycheck.

4. You know your man has it if he has ever walked up to a soccer coach who just yelled at your kid, undeservedly at that, and shakes his hand, but lets him know that this, this will not happen again. By the end, the coach is apologizing to not only your man, but your kid. This is handled with a smile, and not rudeness or threats. The Manly man just oozes influential testosterone.

5. If you have ever been puking sick, rendered smelly, ugly, and gross... you will know your man's manliness levels quickly. Manly man holds your hair and helps you get in a hot shower. (yeah, manly man likes to help when you are naked, tis true. But, he is your husband, and a manly also likes to see his woman in the buff. note: HIS woman.)

6. You know a manly man is there, when he looks at his firstborn. That bond is there, and it is palpable. A Manly Man tells you, you are amazing, and then changes a diaper. Wipe it Manly Man.

7. Washing dishes? For a manly man? Oh yes... Manly man can kill his own meal AND clean up the pan he made it in, that combination is what makes him a manly man.

8. A manly man teaches his children. He tells them how to wrestle, ride a bike, use a pocket knife, play games, respect a woman, and pray. Teach 'em Manly Man.

9. The most important feature of the Manly Man... he loves Jesus more than he loves you...

See, you read those first few and thought it was going to be all Tim Allen- grunt and scratch-outdoor channel- kind of stuff...

And yes, I realize the list is an even nine, not ten. My manly man can proof read too, and he will let me know if that is a terrible faux pas or not. My Micah is amazing for more than a goofy list can ever convey, and yes. I still swoon over him. Alot.

Sorry ladies, this manly man is taken... go get your own...

Oh, and PS: One more opinion based insight... A Manly Man never wears skinny jeans. A straight fit, yes. I'll even go ya' a tapered leg, but true skinny jeans... not happening.


  1. Okay, is there a minimum number of "yes" answers that will allow MY Manly Man to still qualify?
    1) He "took care of" my mom's neighbor when he disrespected me.
    2) I never know when he's sick - he sucks it up until he's laid out, ready for the hospital, where by the way, they know him by name 'cause he gets seriously hurt pretty often. (No, he's not clumsy!)
    3) He's a gym teacher so he's almost always carrying a baseball bat - does that count?!?
    4) He's done this one for our kids AND our neighbors' kids!
    5) Yea, the whole buff thing certainly is a bonus for him, but he has wiped my fevered brow, made me my chicken broth and saltines, AND helped me when I was, shall we say, not at my best being literally sick in the bathroom...
    6) My Manly Man will do anything for his children - when I see him talk about his children, I get teary-eyed, he's so darn proud and loves them so much!
    7) Yea, he's a cook and a dishwasher, although I have to admit, in the privacy of this blog/confessional, that he sometimes forgets to wipe down the stove!
    8) Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, and yes, and THEN some!
    9) Absolutely...

    Just wondering if his missing out on #3, without my very loose interpretation of "weapon" would make him miss out in your book...

    Love your blog!

  2. i whole heartedly agree! i'm so glad i have a manly man too :D

  3. oh crap. i may be in trouble...

  4. I heart you. I love your list.

  5. i just peed a little laughing so hard. you're hilarious and amazing. can i add, 10. kills the food you eat but cleans it out of your sight because he knows you hate that part?

  6. I see some of them in my Big C but our relationship with god is not where either of us want it so some of them we have to work on!!!! :0)

  7. Hey Jude...(ooo, I feel a song coming on...put your lighters (or cell phones) up everyone and join in! :-) Sorry...I get carried away sometimes!

    Hey Jude, remember me? I've MISSED you! Thanks for the comment the other day. It was SO nice to hear from you.

    Oh my goodness, I SO love this list of "manly" traits. Although my man has never had a job where he had to carry a weapon...he WANTED to. Does that count? He did, however, have a job where he had to carry handcuffs, lol. C'mon...he was store security! lol But he's a TECHY and still my very MANLY MAN!
    This was great! So sweet to see how you still "swoon" over yo man! I do too (not yours, mine)
    Love ya! Keep in touch.