Monday, October 06, 2008

Alert! Alert! Alert!

Ladies, who are reading this, (apologies to any of the few men who might be) this is an important public service message!
DO NOT, and I mean...
NEVER
EVER
EVER
leave your husband at home alone when the DISH satellite service man comes to install your new cable lines.
Now, let me explain first that, I am now, and remain solidly opposed to the "dish on the house." In fact, I loathe it. Out here in Po-Dunk Hollar' we cannot get nary a channel, even with rabbit ears. So, being the football loving, America's Next Top Model Watching, girl that I am, we have had the minimal cable package available, for quite some time. The problem is, again, out here in the hollar' we have to pay $15 a month for what I call "clear up the channel cable". It makes the local channels clear, and we get a bizarre assortment of odd channels,(really, there is a 24 hour infomercial type channel...who buys flat irons and rug cleaner at 4am anyway?) and the WE channel is a bonus fuzzy one. I was fine with this, despite the fact that city residents pay only $6 a month for the same service, really Ted Turner, we country folk don't mind at all...

So, my phone company has let me know, via a huge new bill, that the internet deal we currently have is gone, done, never again to be... great. So, in a nutshell, we could get a "package" deal from them for less than the new phone bill and cable were... and we would get more channels... wowee, more tv to tell my kids they are not allowed to watch, I cannot tell you the excitement it gives me.
Now,a lovely young gentleman, by the name of Kyle, comes to install our satellite. Micah comes in to help since I have no clue about cable lines and such. Of course, I am hoping the little dish can be hidden behind some tree limbs on the roof. Apparently, that gives you a problem with reception. Whatever. Well, before I can blink, I see that there is a nice new black cable coming down the side of my home, and a little dish will be greeting me if I look up and right when I enter and exit the home. Sweet. I am beginning to regret this decision already.

Well, we have a second TV that was only hooked up to play DVDs occasionally for the boys. This was moved into my home while I was gone one day, I am opposed to the second Tv's very existence.

Kyle came in and asked about cable in the little room where Tv #2, aka demonTV is. There IS cable in there, but it is on the OPPOSITE side of the room, and being that our house is creeping up on the 100 year old mark, the crawl space is really more of a "shimmy through spiders" space. So Micah and Kyle are discussing our options. This is where the ALERT comes in...
They were going to run a NEW cable along the side of the house, to the room. As in, a thick black, cable over my cute little windows, above the door, and down the other side to get to the TV.
WHOA!!! I came outside just in the nick of time...
I made sure they left the cable as IS because I cannot imagine that cables down the side and door are a good option for any home. Really. I have never seen this on a Martha Stewart segment, in Better Homes and Garden, or anywhere else that decorating advice is given.

This is where Kyle and Micah both stop and look at me funny, like what is the big deal with the cable running there. Here is where I should mention the mullet that Kyle is sporting. And honestly... it is true that, yes, yes you can cut a mullet incorrectly, and folks, Kyle has been done wrong at the Cuttin' Corral.

I suggest leaving the cable where it is and moving the TV for now, despite the fact that the easy chair in that room does not fit in the other corner properly. I did this because in my head, I know I am planning on getting rid if the Demon Tv. I am plotting the coup as I type.

So ladies, really... this is why you should never leave your husband and the DISH man at home alone. They love cable, and have no fear of running mass amounts of it across ceilings, door frames, and other areas cable should not be!

Be on alert.
Stay the course.
Hold your ground.
Down with the dish.
Godspeed...
Here are some new scrappies...


And here is the fat dog, "skypeing" with Beth and Chrissy... too cute!

14 comments:

  1. LOL that is too funny! this is why we don't even have cable. We are all so addicted to TV we'd never get anything done! Pete would sit and watch football all day on Sunday. We basically only get ABC and sometimes CBS at our house. Usually if there's something we really want to watch we can find in online and I can watch it when the kids are sleeping.
    So now I want to hear the plot to get rid of the easy chair.
    Oh, and did you offer to fix Kyles party in the back?

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  2. all i can say is OH. MY. GAWD!

    LMAO!!

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  3. you have me cracking up jude. seriously think you could make a book of all your stories :)
    also great lo's...i have to say i'm really loving the one of us - and i totally feel the same way!!

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  4. LOL...just LOL! Sounds like you folks need to move on up to the big city.

    :)

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  5. I love when you have a new post, it just cracks me up. You know you hicks out in the "Hollar" are funny. Anyway, cable...hmmmm, if you saw my little duplex (a rental) you would die laughing... one too many a man has lived there before me and there is cable, EVERYWHERE...Since it is only temporary and a rental, it's staying...I ignore it...LOL...But I'm with you on the dish girl. I have one, unused, that hangs on the fence in the backyard...now what the heck was that man thinking when he put it there? I mean c'mon dipstick... So, I'm with Greta OH. MY. GAWD. And I can so see the look on the face of Micah and said Kyle of the Mullet.

    Love the scrappy stuff...Fat Dog gets cuter by the day....Love and hugs.

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  6. man, cable tv isn't my problem, it's computer "stuff". ugh.

    i'm glad you stood your ground, even with kyle and his hair :) (you should have snapped a picture of that one!)

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  7. ROFLOL - i'm picturing a house completely wrapped in black cable. glad you managed to put a stop to it!

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  8. I love coming to your blog...you always cheer me up ...you are so funny. I understand your grief with living in the sticks...we get our phone, cable and internet through one company and if all of them go out then you have to hold three different times for three differnt people because they can't do all three services at one time. I was on hold one time(on cell..using up minutes) for an hour for my phone being out and then she told me I had to hold more for the internet and cable person....you guessed it...i hung up! I couldn't waste anymore of my cell phone minutes...but if we don't use this company then I would have to resort to the nice dish on house...really don't want that....anyhoo...sorry for such a long comment..he he..have a super day and thanks for the giggles!

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  9. you totally crack me up jude...

    Love the photo of the fat dog skyping!

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  10. You are so funny Jude! Love those layouts too.

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  11. =)

    Loving your scrappies and man ... A is getting so big (and is a cutie!) Have a great day Jude!
    Kim

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  12. someone has to get me into the know...haven't skyped ever! and hey, my kids are so happy we have basic cable that they want to pee their pants we have saturday morning cartoons. I am envious, at least you have a husband there to annoy you...us lonely single girls sit in front of our basic cable alone:(
    ha ha JK! we can watch chick stuff whenever we want!come over any time hunny

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  13. love your new scrappies! yay to new cable tv! :) lol
    have a great weekend!
    xo

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  14. NOW you tell me!!! :-) My question is why is it necessary to have 12 tennis channels, 10 soccer channels (2 - 3 of which are commentated in Spanish), 3 high school football channels (who CARES?), 6 hockey channels and only 1 - yes, ONE, HGTV and DIY channel!!! What's up with THAT??

    I feel your pain!!!

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