DO NOT, and I mean...
leave your husband at home alone when the DISH satellite service man comes to install your new cable lines.
Now, let me explain first that, I am now, and remain solidly opposed to the "dish on the house." In fact, I loathe it. Out here in Po-Dunk Hollar' we cannot get nary a channel, even with rabbit ears. So, being the football loving, America's Next Top Model Watching, girl that I am, we have had the minimal cable package available, for quite some time. The problem is, again, out here in the hollar' we have to pay $15 a month for what I call "clear up the channel cable". It makes the local channels clear, and we get a bizarre assortment of odd channels,(really, there is a 24 hour infomercial type channel...who buys flat irons and rug cleaner at 4am anyway?) and the WE channel is a bonus fuzzy one. I was fine with this, despite the fact that city residents pay only $6 a month for the same service, really Ted Turner, we country folk don't mind at all...
So, my phone company has let me know, via a huge new bill, that the internet deal we currently have is gone, done, never again to be... great. So, in a nutshell, we could get a "package" deal from them for less than the new phone bill and cable were... and we would get more channels... wowee, more tv to tell my kids they are not allowed to watch, I cannot tell you the excitement it gives me.
Now,a lovely young gentleman, by the name of Kyle, comes to install our satellite. Micah comes in to help since I have no clue about cable lines and such. Of course, I am hoping the little dish can be hidden behind some tree limbs on the roof. Apparently, that gives you a problem with reception. Whatever. Well, before I can blink, I see that there is a nice new black cable coming down the side of my home, and a little dish will be greeting me if I look up and right when I enter and exit the home. Sweet. I am beginning to regret this decision already.
Well, we have a second TV that was only hooked up to play DVDs occasionally for the boys. This was moved into my home while I was gone one day, I am opposed to the second Tv's very existence.
Kyle came in and asked about cable in the little room where Tv #2, aka demonTV is. There IS cable in there, but it is on the OPPOSITE side of the room, and being that our house is creeping up on the 100 year old mark, the crawl space is really more of a "shimmy through spiders" space. So Micah and Kyle are discussing our options. This is where the ALERT comes in...
They were going to run a NEW cable along the side of the house, to the room. As in, a thick black, cable over my cute little windows, above the door, and down the other side to get to the TV.
WHOA!!! I came outside just in the nick of time...
I made sure they left the cable as IS because I cannot imagine that cables down the side and door are a good option for any home. Really. I have never seen this on a Martha Stewart segment, in Better Homes and Garden, or anywhere else that decorating advice is given.
This is where Kyle and Micah both stop and look at me funny, like what is the big deal with the cable running there. Here is where I should mention the mullet that Kyle is sporting. And honestly... it is true that, yes, yes you can cut a mullet incorrectly, and folks, Kyle has been done wrong at the Cuttin' Corral.
I suggest leaving the cable where it is and moving the TV for now, despite the fact that the easy chair in that room does not fit in the other corner properly. I did this because in my head, I know I am planning on getting rid if the Demon Tv. I am plotting the coup as I type.
So ladies, really... this is why you should never leave your husband and the DISH man at home alone. They love cable, and have no fear of running mass amounts of it across ceilings, door frames, and other areas cable should not be!
Be on alert.
Stay the course.
Hold your ground.
Down with the dish.
And here is the fat dog, "skypeing" with Beth and Chrissy... too cute!