Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Not for me...

So, this is the time of year when all good scrappers are awaiting the call.
What call you ask?
Why, the coveted "Hall of Fame" call from Creating Keepsakes magazine. (herein hall of fame will be referred to as HOF.)
I will not be awaiting said call.
Why? you inquire.
Well, simply put, I do not have the time, energy or cheery outlook I think the winners must possess. Um, there is also the whole "talent" thing too. I like my pages, but that doesn't mean everyone else does. I don't fool myself into thinking I am a scrapping maven. I am more of a scrapping wench really.
Not to mention I submitted something once for a mass open call and when it was not picked it left me thinking... What was wrong with my page?
I am a woman in the year 2008, I do not need any other sources of self esteem angst, hence I no longer try.
Not determined enough, you say.
Well, okay, true enough.

The real truth is I will never be HOF because this is what my BIO would read like...
Name: Jude
Occupation: extremely underpaid abode development planner
Hobbies: Right. Hobbies. Does blogging count as a hobby?
Interests: Well, I am currently interested in finding a bathing suit that hides unwanted cellulite.
Favorite Scrapping tool: Seriously?
Describe your scrapping style: Hmmm... in a word... Paperish. (yeah, that is a bit sarcastic. I am lucky if I remember style in my wardrobe, I so not going to worry about it with scrapping.)
Your approach to scrapping: Realistic. I love to scrap but I don't pretend to get it all done, or have perfect little memories to share. I scrap my real life not what I pretend it to be. I take horrible pictures so sometimes I get sick of editing them and give up for a while. Some nights I want to scrap but end up reading, or watching American Idol.(GASP!) No dedication, I know.
Other fun facts about you: I am a mean drunk. Just kidding. I am a cheery one. Ha! Gotcha again. Fun facts, fun facts, fun facts??? I am not a fun person I guess. Hmmm... maybe if I made rubber cement my favorite tool?
Favorite Quotes: " Behold, the mallet of understanding" (see previous posts involving the rat comic)
Acts 20:9 "And there was a young man named Eutychus who fell into a deep sleep as Paul was long in preaching. He sunk down with sleep and fell from the window, and was taken up as dead" See? And you thought the Bible wasn't funny... My man Eutychus fell asleep in a window cause Paul preached too long, and he fell out! It would not seem as funny had he remained dead, but Paul brought him back to life. I bet Paul felt bad for talking so long.
Describe you perfect day: My perfect day involves not having to wipe any tushies (save my own)

See? Not exactly what magazine editors are looking for. And that is okay. I am happy for all the people that win, I just wanted to say why I would never be one of them. I may have friends who win, and I am guessing that chances are they will not be asking me for help in writing their BIOS.

I just don't take filling them out seriously and can't resist the urge to answer them like a little smart aleck.(did i even spell aleck right? the "other" word for that is easier to spell isn't it???)
I would like to ask why we can't have some real to life articles in our mags from time to time. Not just scrapping ones either. I want to see
"How to make dinner when all you have is half frozen chicken and three soft carrots"
"Ten cool-down tips for when you can't get a moment's peace from your kids"
"7 new code words for poop to avoid public humiliation at the hands of your child."
"How to use that butt-UGLY paper you thought was so cool two years ago."
"How to use up every stinking brad you own in one night!"
Sign up in the comments if you wish to subscribe to my upcoming e-Zine...

On a happy note... really, I am not making it up...
Here is a cute picture of the Fat Dog. He is playing with his duckie from Nicole. He loves it, and every time he gets it quacking by giving it a squeeze, I think of her. Well, I admit it Nicole, every time I go to Target I think of you too...
And here is my little fat dog getting his bath today. I know I am biased, but he is so cute! I was very proud of that water shot too... no editing even! Can I do a preemptive ISpy??? this is for I spy "wet" or "water"... LOL.

So, I had a birthday... yep, 27. (yes, again, shut-up) Micah surprised me with dinner out with Jen and her husband... even got a babysitter. Nice. Plus the card he got me was from the show "The Office"... he is good. No, make that great. Makes me feel bad for all the times I walk him through the actual time it takes to wash a dish. Yeah, I do it and count out loud just to prove it is less than a minute.
Jen even made me wedding cake frosting, and is making me a Baby book...that would be a baby book about me because she is sick of hearing me whine about not having one!) How sweet is she???
I got birthday phone calls and then tonight went out to eat with some friends who surprised me with bringing in balloons and cupcakes (more wedding cake frosting!!) and a gift card to our LSS. One of them even bought my meal.
I must say, it made me feel so loved to have people think of me... having friends like I have is amazing... even more amazing is that many of them know my faults and love me still. Dude.
And because I always like to close with some scrapiliciousness. (new wordage alert.)


  1. Happy Birthday Jude!!! I'm glad you had a great day!
    HOF-dude, I didn't even realize it was that time. I didn't enter. I decided it's not my thing either. I do like your Bio though! You crack me up-especially with your favorite quotes! But I have to DO have good style: scrapping and othewise. I always love your pages.
    Great pics of Alden..he really is super cute!
    Oh, and sign me up for the ezine!! :D

  2. one week and we'll be hanging out and laughing and i'll be wishing i could move to n.c. :)

    happy birthday plus one!

  3. LOL at your real to life artcile suggestions!

    Those pics of that baby...yes, we definitely need to have "the talk." I'm back and forth mostly over another baby, but when I see pictures of adorable, chubby, dimpled babies, it makes me sway towards the yes side.

    I will definitely wait to procreate{hey! that rhymes!} until you've done all that you can to prepare me.


  4. First of all...Happy Birthday. 27 eh? You look amazing (no seriously). I am glad that you had a good day. Didn't you read my 7 facts, I am the queen of remembering birthdays. You should have left me your birthdate a while back. Now I hate that I missed it.
    I was just bragging on you yesterday (nursing 3 kids and not at one time, but an amazing job nonetheless).
    You are funny, and prehaps the queen of sarcaism:)
    Alden is so cute. What precious pics!
    If I could srap ( not like we called fighting back in my childhood years) I would want to be a part of your e-zine. Keep it real!

  5. hey happy birthday girl!!!! and i like i am leaning towards the hof thing with you it seems to me that my bio would not work well either lol!!!

  6. This was hilarious!! As always!! Your wit cannot be corralled by a stupid bio just to let you know!!!

    "How to make dinner when all you have is half frozen chicken and three soft carrots" oh and don't say I've never done anything for are all the wonderful recipes you can make with chicken and carrots!! ROFLOL

  7. oh sh*t...happy belated birthday!!!

  8. Happy birthday!!!
    I did HOF last year and it will be my last time. Just too much pressure and i did realize it's not my thing. Love your great outlook though!!!

    ANd the articles are the best. Please sign me up for your newsletter...I would love to know the answers!! :)

    Have a great day!

  9. Anonymous1:24 PM

    Gosh you always make me laugh... too funny. Love those photos of Fat Dog... such a cutie. Happy late birthday.

  10. Anonymous3:34 PM

    happy birthday jude!! and i think you would be a great HOF'er!! it would be refreshing and quite freaking hilarious to read your BIO!!!!

    totally laughing!!!

    have a fabulous day!!

  11. happy birthday!! love your bio, you're in my hof (meaningless though it may be). and you might be the funniest gal in blogland, so put that in your banjo book. :)

  12. every time I see a new post from your blog pop up in bloglines I know I am going to laugh...and yes I am always right!!
    First of all - happy belated birthday...didn't realize our birthdays were so close...and so glad to hear you had a good one!
    Second - PLEASE sign me up for your ezine - especially interested in the article about the cool down tips :)
    third, the bio is great! and I can totally relate - so not my thing - I get stressed about how my layouts look just going on my blog - can you imagine my stress to actually submit them?!
    And to end this book - so glad that he loves the duckie - Will had one too and loved it - although for him the teddy has now taken over (he had to have one just like Jack's) - and yes Jude I always think of you at Target too - especially when I am there will all three kids and they are being crazy people :)

  13. Totally love your blog! I have been checkin in for awhile now so thought I better say Hi!!!!


  14. You crack me up my friend! Glad you had a great birthday! And I love your BIO! Kim
    PS< I would pick you if I were choosing the HOF!

  15. happy birthday Jude ... so glad you had a nice dinner - i believe you should celebrate your birthday, its the one day of the year that is yours to do what you want with!
    i love reading your blog, you make me laugh ... oh, i think you totally should win the HOF! you rock! luv chanel

  16. You are hilarious. I have read your blog several times since I found unpubbed. BTW, I have never had my 15 minutes. (cry cry) Your layouts are awesome and you can write my bio in the unlikely event I ever win anything.

  17. oh my gosh, just pick me up off the floor will you silly girl>>>>>

    This was a fantastic post. Happy Birthday Beautiful....

  18. LOL!! you are too funny girl!!
    I think your designs are totally amazing by the way!

  19. happy birthday! you freaking crack me up! my perfect day too is not cleaning up any poopies! looove potty training...not!you drink???/ who knew...I'll bring the coors light to Ronda's we can karaoke and drink beer then we will have terrific pictures for you to scrap book ha ha!

  20. Happy Birthday !! and totally sign me up for the E-zine (I double dog dare you to REALLY do one!! HA)... you make me laugh so hard. My fave was the perfect non-wiping butts day!! I can so relate.


    I will never be HOF either because let's face it...we all know it is rigged...(IMHO) and i never submit to mags i will sit ont he couch and be a scrapping wench with ya...

  22. Got your link off of Memorable Seasons.
    You are a terrific writer! And your pages look great! Can't wait to read and see more!!!