Wednesday, July 02, 2008

This one's for you Lo...

So, here I am, realizing what a blog slacker I have been. How insincere is an online apology really? Well, for what its worth, I plan on offering up a laundry list of the reasons why this slacktivity occured. (** yep, new wordage right off the bat. I think I just felt my mojo return... very nice) So, on to the laundry list, cause my real laundry is being sorely ignored at this point, as is Alden... he is in his bouncy seat next to me, chattering away, but still refusing to say Mama. 9 months old and already so disobedient! (just kidding folks) All I ever hear though, is a chorus of Dada Dada dadadadadadadadadadadadadadada... but I'm not bitter about this at all. I know, you can tell. I have tried explaining to him calmly, that any and all demands will be met on a more timely basis if that dimpled, little two tooth grin would be accompanied by a simple "Mama"... and yet, if I was showing a VLOG clip, you too would hear it...

DaDa Dada daadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadadada.

No, seriously, his love of all things Micah makes me so happy. This morning he was getting the "need my nap whineys" and I held out my arms to him. He looked at me, and looked at Micah, and crawled right over to him. Micah thought I would be heartbroken, but nope... I am happy because
#1 I am not raising any sissy Mama's boys.

#2 Due to the horse's hiney of a relationship I (never) had with my father, this kind of thing thrills my soul.
On to other things before I get all sappy...

My baby is six. No, I have not given birth again and named a child a number. Lincoln turned six last week. Where has the time gone? How did the little bundle I brought home turn into a little boy who catches bugs and makes his own peanut butter sandwiches?
Look at him... here he is. Just 5 days old, and SO tiny...
and now...

Oh, the very essence of jubilant poverty... they rob your heart and you are happy about it.
And one of the fat dog, who has FOUR teeth, a case of poison ivy, and thanks to a really dumb mom, a sunburn. This was at Lincoln's pirate birthday party, so Jen dressed him up a bit. :)
Now, this guy...
my oh my, he keeps me on my toes! Here is the latest Emerson story... and really after reading it you will wonder why I don't just re-name this blog "Tales from My Toilet" or "The Body Functions Blog".
So, I put Em in the shower. Our normal protocol is to get him in, let him get himself wet, come and lather him up, then let him rinse and play. I am not a fan of that pinkish mildew that grows on shower toys, so we only ever have a few, and I throw them out regularly. Currently there was a car, a small Superman, a wood dowel, (yeah, I know, what a redneck toy but they love it!) and then a small plastic butter tub for rinsing purposes.
Well, I put Em in, and come back a few minutes later with the soap and see him putting the Superman figure in the butter tub... He looks at me with an "Uh-oh, I just got busted" kind of look. So I say... "What did you do?"
Now, mothers, here is a trick you need to learn. If you suspect mischief, ask this question then WATCH and see where they look. They almost always glance at the very thing they are trying to hide. So Em glances at the butter tub... I look at it, and realize, that water that Superman and the car are floating in looks awfully yellow. So I go to pick it up, and just as I finish saying "Did you pee in here?" My hand sends the signal to my brain that this yellow water, it is nice and hot too... as in, fresh from a little 98.6 degree bladder.
"EEEEWWWW! Emerson, did you pee in here?"
Um, yeah Ma, I do'd that. I peed in there."
"Why?"
"Superman likes it."
So there you have it, Superheros run on pee power. The secret is out.
Now, what I want to know is... how can a kid get pee all over the bathroom floor, but manage to fill a butter container to the brim while in a shower???
And yes, Superman, the car, the container and even the dowel went in the trash. Why the dowel? you ask. Well, I can pretty much guarantee that if Em peed in that butter container he stirred it up too...
And that is all for this one folks, I'll try not be such a stranger.

18 comments:

  1. OH how funny Jude! I could see my boys doing the same thing. And yes, I am quite sure he probably stirred it too! Thanks for the laugh.

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  2. oh my goodness!
    my little friend emerson did it again.
    tell him bef says hi.

    and tell lincoln to have fun being 6.

    and my littlest friend...he's still as cute as ever. :)

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  3. that is so funny jude.
    totally know what you mean about the eyes! or the best is when they are obviously hiding something behind their backs - and then proclaim I don't have nothing :)
    funny that the entire pee in the butter tub plan was because spiderman likes it!!
    and glad to hear that the birthday party went well....glad ours are done until April..they are alot of work! :)

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  4. Haha...thanks Jude!! You had me laughing once again. What a great way to start out my day!

    I was not as calm when Josiah would say "dada" all the time. Especially when I knew he could say "mama". I would point to me and say mama and he would look at me, say dada AND laugh!! But I do agree with you that it is great to see the relationship being built between my kids and their dad. Awesome!!

    As for Emerson and the pee cup. Lets just make sure we don't have any empty Brummel and Brown containers laying around the house next time you come to visit!! Haha...

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  5. lol over your boy stories and just how close to home they hit. Too funny.

    Aslo, you're not a bad mom, his sunburn really isn't that bad.

    And, you ARE a blog slacker. The last post is from when I was there LAST time! Is it me? Do I make your world go round? Does the thought of me inspire you to blog?? ;)

    I had so much fun last night, though Simon cried the entire way home. Seriously, almost 2 solid hours of whining/whimpering/yawny crying over a bug bite. I told him I was going to bring him back to your house and let you deal with his whining however you deem fit before I realized it wasn't a threat in his mind. He stopped crying long enough to let out an excited, "OK!"

    :)

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  6. Well, there goes the whole Kryptonite theory!! Thanks Jude (and Emerson)

    Thank God for the 2 sexes :-). Girls just DON'T do stuff like that. Nope, they sure don't.

    Oh wait, there was that one "episode" with Dora the Explorer and Boots splashing around in the "yellow" toilet water...but that's different, LOL!!

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  7. ha ha i so understand those boys stories i do have a mommy tip for you i make my boys sit to pee so they dont get it all over the place and guess who else sits yep thats right hubbs to lol!! a little trick my mil taught me

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  8. Since you're apologizing for blog slacking, I feel the need to apologize for blog stalking. I found your blog awhile ago through something scrapping related and just love it. You make me laugh out loud. As a fellow mother of 3 boys I can relate to so, so many things you say. My oldest will be 6 tomorrow, my middle is almost 3 1/2 & my chunky #3 is 8 months next week. See? I totally relate. Thanks for the laughs.

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  9. Happy Birthday Lincoln!

    LOL......love emers.....and yes that subtle glance and the look in their eyes...like deer in headlights...the tell tale signs!

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  10. my son will tell me to no end he doesn't have to pee before bath or shower and THEN will pee in a cup while I step out. Fills it up each time. UGH. I am running out of cups I tell you.

    :) i am NOT telling Tanner that superheros run on pee. NEVER.

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  11. keep the stories coming. it's nice to know i'm not crazy or alone :)
    we ate 3 lbs of ground beef tonight - each of the kids had 4 tacos. and more food just means more potty. sigh.

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  12. OMG!! funny as ever!! :P How about getting them to potty at all... man.

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  13. I'm so not ready for this, little boy peeing thing. So not ready.

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  14. lincoln is the cutest!!!! they grow so fast, right?!!!! awww....

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  15. I had no idea about the Superhero pee thing. I am laughing at this. I can sooooo relate.

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  16. ROTFL!!! duuuuuuuuuuude!!!! i can't even type i am laughing so hard right now!!!

    too funny!!

    happy birthday to lincoln!!! haillee's b-day isn't technically til the 21st...we always celebrate it early so it's easier to track down kids from school, lol!!

    have a fabulous day...o...a little d&s is much needed i think!!!

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