We decided to try these "Protein Meal Replacement Bars."
Now, right there, with a name like that, I should have known. Known what you ask?
Well, let's just make a list shall we???
1. You cannot possibly replace a meal, even a healthy, balanced one, with a bar...
can you stuff smoked turkey on whole wheat in there? No, don't think so. There is also no smokey jack panini or grilled chicken salad hiding in there...
2. Protein advertised as "Delicious"... is really fakealicious.
(** new wordage alert. Just for you Jessi, Vee, Karla, and Ronda! Fakealicious, meaning a fake representation of a delicious food.
Do not confuse this wordage with "fraudilicious". That is referring to things like "A high mileage, energy saving, green SUV!" or "The Miracle Swimsuit, Lose 2 inches just putting it on!"... that is total fraudiliciousness.) Ok, back to the list...
3.When something looks ooey, gooey and chocolately, but has a mere 4 grams of sugar... realize up front, it will not actually TASTE ooey, gooey, or chocolatey! I mean, really, I opened it and thought, okay, this actually looks good. I took one bite and between the flashbacks of my mom's Shaklee phase, and the horrid chalky taste, I was almost laying on the ground howling.. "SUGAR!! Where fore art thou SUGAR???" Ah, yes, so very Shakespearean was my longing for real sweetness.
4. Upon reading the label, know that "Ingredients include alcohol sugar which may cause gastrointestinal cramping and discomfort" is NOT something you should EVER see on a food you are about to ingest. Plus it is true. And we will leave that package unopened my friends.
5.The label touting its ability to"Produces a great anabolic reaction! Use immediately after a workout for best results!" makes me think this, this is not a product for me. All I want is to not jiggle in my clothes, I don't want anabolic muscle reactions. It scared me a little, and now coupled with my voice changing, a bulging Adam's apple, and the urge to scratch unseemly places, makes me think this is something for men... men seek anabolic help. I seek liposuction type help. Slap that heading on a bar and I think I'd eat lint.
So, yeah, I think that ends my venture into meal replacement bars.
(click to enlarge)
This is the last mini-mini I made for Memorable Seasons. It a mere 2½ in tall and 4 in. wide.)
It is a little tribute to Jen, and what a good friend she is. I will upload all the pages to my flickr account and you can see them there if you want. (Link is on the side bar)