Friday, February 15, 2008

Trust your instincts...

So, I learned two things yesterday....
1.Valentine's Day and Cupid still do not recognize motherhood as an obstacle to romance.
2.Cupid should get in the know.

Why you ask???
Well... here is why...
No one's Valentine's Day can possibly recover when the morning starts with the words...
and I quote...
"Juicy Poops"

Man, it was all downhill from there. It reminded me of this Valentine's Day... click the link to read. Apparently I cannot escape it.

The title? "Trust your instincts" well...
Let me put this gently...
okay there is no way to put it gently, let me just say it...
When one has a young son, who starts his day with the term "Juicy poops" and then uses the bathroom twice, once involving the need to wipe the JP from his bum and his foot... yeah foot, don't ask. ( JP is the new abbreviation there for Juicy Poops, stay with me k?)

So, once one has been through these things, once should KNOW, just KNOW that when the cute little romantic Valentine meal she has prepared for her men is interrupted with many loud and disturbing gaseous sounds...

One should trust her instincts...

ME: "Em, was that a juicy fart, like your juicy poop?"
(yes, I actually spoke those words. Sad that I used to converse about current events and such isn't it?)
EM: "No Ma, that just a tooty."
ME: "Are you sure????"
EM: "Yep, I sure. "

I knew. I knew I should have checked. I mean, why did I trust a three year old? He lies. It's like asking a dog if he's licked his butt today. You know the answer...
I did ask Micah to check, but come on... Dad's just don't realize how low the JF z0ne is in those undies, you gotta really pull back and look... you know what I mean Moms... you have to pull back just so and get a peek...
But be careful... you pull too far and you know what you end up with a finger full of...
(and the JF is for Juicy fart, cause really, if I write those words again, I will be forced to turn in my femininity.)

So, this morning it all comes back to haunt me...
the sounds
the denial
the false positive father peek

I should have trusted my instincts and went in for the check...
Cause what I found, well... it is not fit for discussion. Suffice to say, there is one very cute pair of undies in the trash because there are just some things that are beneath me, and yes, washing the JPs and the JFs out of the BVDs is one of them...

Happy Valentines's Day to one and all...

And the scrappy stuff...
The LO is for Unpubbed and that great red paper... from Memorable Seasons, a new online store. Jill is the owner and that order was here FAST and even had some Primas in it as an extra! Go check her out! :)

And... my picture for the first challenge on the We SPy You Spy blog. Beth and Nicole are doing this one and it looks like a great way to get your photography ideas flowing... The first spy was something beautiful...
I took this picture at my friend Heather's shower and I loved it! Plus, I haven't touched it with editing software at all, so I am a little proud. :)

If you have read all this you are to be commended... or is that committed?


  1. Alright, due to the fact that I'm your first commenter...I'll take COMMITTED for $400, Alex! :-)

    What a funny story. And you're right, you should trust your inSTINKS!! lol. Not that I speak from experience or anything....

    Sooo, what else is goin on? Tee Hee

    LOVE the LO. And that picture of the strawberries...VERY impressive (and yummy looking).

    Have a great weekend, my friend.

  2. oh my goodness! I've been there...several times. When I was a preschool teacher I made the mistake of "pulling back" only to find my finger nail full of..well, you know. blech! And then the tub...eww!
    Anyways, totally can relate. You are such a good story teller! Your house sounds like fun :)
    Hey, you should do a LO for know since the new word is Trust. :)
    Have a good weekend Jude!

  3. oh my! maybe i don't want those boys to be my roomies when i move into your house. :)

    your layout is great and your photo is BEAUTIFUL! so happy you are playing along!

    happy friday!

  4. i am with you and i know EXACTLY what you are talking about!!! bwhahahahahahahaha

    love you picture...oneil took one that was gorgeous in my opinion...i should put it on my blog...untouched as well!!!

    LOVE LOVE LOVE your layout and i think i am going to particpate again for this one...i love it so much

  5. I am sooooo glad I don't have to do that any more, but I am so laughing my hiny off right now... you just kill me girl...

    Love you so much.

    Oh...the pic of the yummilicious strawberries, you have every right to be proud. and girl, if you need someone to talk to on current events, call. LOL...You might need just a little more time away from the man stuff...

  6. seriously. tears are rolling down my cheek! That is too funny.

    love the 'beautiful' photo! Glad that you are playing along with us.

  7. not only can i believe it...i'm knee deep in the poopla too. hence i'm off to pick up my meds at the store before The O pees again.
    Take heart my sister, one day this too shall pass. :)

  8. funny...maybe not at that moment, but the way you tell it...too funny! I had a Mother's Day like that a few years ago. Such a wonderful up my couch. And I know exactly what you mean about tossing the underwear...I do it too! BTW, I can't find your email address anywhere, it isn't on the comments. Can you email it to me?

  9. Okay Jude, that was so funny! I know what you mean, but, girls don't use such language:).... Anyway, check out our blog sometime. We miss you all. Too bad we couldn't get together or even say so long before we left.

    Your picture is gorgeous!

  10. seriously, this may be your funniest post ever! oh my gosh. Yeah, Felix had a JP accident right on an endcap display @ Target yesterday.

    I FORGOT he was wearing boxers, so it could've been much worse. Y'know...boxers and shorts, things tend to fall out. So we tossed a brand new pair of boxers, too. Yum.

    I'm still laughing...false father shoulda made him clean it all up. They have to learn!

  11. Oh my goodness you make me laugh and sadly I can relate!! thanks for the laughs!!

  12. Girl children don't do such things... they make fluffs and brown clouds. So perhaps you should try just one more time for some pink in your life!!!

    Who knows.... you could be pushing on the delivery table thinking you were about to meet Lucas Tate and have an Elena Joy pop out too!

  13. oh my .... that is too funny! i mean i know it wasn't for you... but it was funny for me to read! i have 3 girls, so i guess the explainations are a little ... lets say tamer!

    your lo is great, and love the pic! i am heading over now to check out the site! luv c

  14. Anonymous8:34 AM

    Memories... sweet memories! It does end to some degree...meaning that they begin to clean themselves up after the JP's and only ask for a visual butt check... but you will still get the cell phone call from the school nurse when you are presenting to 60 people (people in the education field in my case)that the JP has occurred and you need to come and retrieve the offender.
    Love you-
    Egg Salad

  15. aw man...I feel your pain with that experience...we had an unsupervised JP in our rarely-used downstairs bathroom that had become some sort of fingerpaint! EEEW! so luckily, me and my strong stomach did a little scrub-a-dub-dub and although the trousers & gonch belonging to the 'artist' were supposed to go into the burn barrel, we salvaged them in the wash. That was the one and only time I plan to do THAT! YUCKERS!! Glad to know that others suffer in similar ways! LOL

  16. yummy yummy photo and i love you unpub. layout, hope the boys are feeling better!

  17. Oh, gosh, Jude! I'll never, ever look at the word "juicy" in the same way again. It's a good thing I wasn't drinking milk whilest reading this post, otherwise it would've come out through my nose! LOL!!

    I love love love that comic strip! Do you think they came up with that title from Matthew 7:6? It is just so funny how you incorporate them into your posts. I especially love the mallet one. TOO funny!