Tuesday, June 02, 2009

I am married to a blind man...

Ok, he is not really blind, but my Micah, he has some very poor vision. I mean, cannot be fully corrected with glasses-may one day need a corneal transplant- bad vision. Now, he had contacts, but a while back, they started making him have these horrid sensitivity issues with light. We would be driving home at night from somewhere and he would wear sunglasses, or it would get really bad and he would have to pull over for me to drive.
Now, there is something you should know about this... Micah does not enjoy being a passenger whilst I drive. Oh, I am a good, no make that a GREAT driver, I think he just has flashbacks to when he taught me to drive. Yep, tis true, tis true... he taught me to drive. This means our marriage is pretty much guaranteed to withstand anything. I think he will never get over a few small incidents... minor things really...

I mean, I admit it. I did in fact ask, "Which is the gas pedal? The short fat one or the long skinny one?" but come on... it could happen to anyone! And I might as well admit it now before Cheryl and Kelli pipe in here and tell in the comments, that yes... technically I was pulled over the night of my wedding... apparently pulling out in front of a cop, not such a good thing. The other was an innocent mistake(s)... I have technically run over my friend Cheryl's foot in two separate incidents. One at the aforementioned wedding, and one other time when... well, honestly, if someone has run over your foot once, you really should move a bit quicker when exiting a vehicle.

So, now, now you understand how bad his eyes are to turn the wheel over to me.

Well, today, he is getting new contacts. And last night whilst we were cleaning up the kitchen, and giggling and such, he says,

"Hey, I may have 20/20 vision tomorrow!"

"All right!" I say all happy for my beloved. Then I say, "Aw crap, I don't know if I want you to see me in 20/20"

Folks, this might not end well for me.
He will see the wrinkles.
He will see the big nose.
He will see that those "curves" they are really more of a gently sloping plain... ok a fall off of deathly proportions at some points, but you get my meaning...

The song, "Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow" has take on new meaning for me...

I am going into full force extreme makeover because my husband has better vision now mode...
I am shaving, plucking, bleaching, and moisturizing like never before...
I will have to let you know how it all goes down...

OK, I am done here. This was technically a bonus day anyway.


  1. LOL! Great post. First of all, you are still gorgeous and yes, I was totally going to comment on you being a good driver, but you beat me to the punch.

  2. so....does he still love you?
    of course he does.
    he's your micah.


  3. Hoping the contacts are working ... and I'm with Beth ... of course he still loves you! Thanks for today's laugh Jude! Have a great day! Kim

  4. LOL!!!! girl you make me laugh so hard sometimes. I know what you mean though. I try to keep plucked and lean just in case I meet some guy who might actually Look at me. HMMMMM.....hasn't happened yet.

    Great post. Thanks for the comment on my blog. Miss talking to you.