So, two of my favorite people in the whole world said, "You should blog for a whole week again." I am agreeing to it. "Why?" , you ask, why bore the entire cyberworld AGAIN... Well, I think by posting these random embarrassments that are my life I am encouraging others to look at their own and go... "Well, at least I am not like that Jude chick..."
So here goes, but since day one of these seven is occurring again on a day full of migraines and a few hours of sleep I am going in list form. I had to laugh whilst reading the Pioneer Woman's Blog about how she tries not to mention physical ailments. Dang, is that proper blog etiquette? I blew that back in the days of the milk machine malfunctions and the first time I typed the word knockedupedness. Oh well...
Here goes... Dear _______,
Things that I want to address...
Dear Blogger, why do you mess up all my pretty and time consuming typing when I put a photo in a post? It is most annoying.
Dear Excedrin Migraine, I love you for taking away my hurting head. I hate you for keeping me up all night.
Dear Facebook, You are evil.
Dear Bejeweled Blitz, so are you.
Dear Fellow Soccer players, You now know I was not kidding when I said I was old and fat, at least I was kind enough to warn you. (more on this later in the week)
Dear Rain, I know you are good for the earth, but all your pressure changes, they are killing my head. I will say it... GO AWAY.
Dear Lawn, sorry you look so long and unkempt. I mean you are lush, yes, but in need of mowing. Blame it on the rain. (Oh yeah, busting out the milli vanilli... I have been waiting years to use this song in a pun like manner. Yes, I understand what this says about the excitement level in my life.)
Dear New Camera, I am sorry I manhandle you like a truck driver snacking on caviar and washing it down with a slurpee at the 7-11. I promise I will read my manual soon and learn what white balance is.
Dear Micah, soon you will have been married to me for 15 years... Your statue should be done soon, it is called "Patient Man". (I wanted "Patient Man With the Nice Arse, but they said Josh already got that one commissioned... hmmmm)
Dear Costco, you and your "veggie straws" are killing me. PS I know you are really just potato chips. Heaven help me if they ever come out with a salt n vinney veggie straw...
Dear Windstream, why does my home phone go dead every time it rains?
Dear Nose, please stop growing. I think you are bumping into my lips.
Dear Alden, please stop eating a pencil eraser whilst mommy types this.
Dear Eutychus, you are my most favorite Bible story.
Dear Jena and JMac, are you regretting asking for this?
Over and out from the Dear _____ world.