Fashion fears...

SO, I am here. Relatively speaking. We have been caught up in the rush of Easter festivities and a coughing Alden. We had egg hunts, egg coloring, cookouts,parties and such.

I even donned the old black keds that are made to look like converse sneakers... stepping up my A Game in fashion I know. That brings me to today's rambling topic...

Everything old is new again in fashion.

I wish I had kept my madras plaid jams, YES I said it JAMS... remember those? I picked up the Macy's ad and there they were...

Madras Plaid Jams. Although they are now referred to as "Walking Shorts". Whatever, we all know they are Jams.

At least if "Walking shorts" are in the insanely obnoxious and hussified butt shorts may be out. (note Jessi and Johnsons, hussified is today's new wordage) One can only hope.

And before anyone gets all "You would have worn those when you were a teenager" on me, I will tell you, even in my hay day of mini-mini skirts I would not have dressed like a street walker. Yes, I said it. Those ultra short shorts remind me of a Vegas hooker who has been on the strip so long she doesn't bother with the skirts anymore.

Next up, the return of the "bright bags". Folks we are very close to the "N" word here... NEON! I am, quite honestly, a little scared. I am having flashbacks to a girl with feathered hair, black and white stripped clam diggers(yep, that was what we called capri pants) and four shirts on, layered in alternating shades of pink and green neon. Matching earrings and eyeshadow followed of course.

So, I like the bright bags, (me love orange) but please, designers, for the love of all that is holy... step back from the neon. It has been buried in the 80s and there it should stay.

On to shoes... I am loving that wedges are still going strong... Like the above neon fear, we are treading very close to bringing back a forgettable fashion. "Jelly" shoes. Really, any shoe that shares a name with a sandwich condiment should not happen. (roll your eyes, but I don't think anyone will run out to get their hands on Mayonnaise, the latest in white shoes. Or Mustards... when you need a little spice for your feet, or what about Ketchups... a lovely line of red shoes for evening wear. See??? When you put "Jelly's" in that context, the name is not so good is it?) Anyway, I am in fear because I have noticed some of the wedges and other summer shoes are vinyl... almost to the point of plastic... ala "Jelly" shoes. Does no one remember how bad those things made your feet sweat and smell???

Ugh.

So, that is all I have on the fashion front. Now you know why I write about baby poop all the time... its what I understand.

And isn't that what all women dream of being able to say?

"I don't get the new fashions, but I can have an hour long conversation about my child's bowel movements."

New scrappiness will follow...

New Unpubbed LO. Its open calls again, go get your stuff out make something already.(I am the encourager on the DT does it show?HAHAHAHAHAHA)

And the gratitude prompt from Ronda... I love my Cherith. She is awesome, hence she gets the grat LO. (grat, new abbreviation for gratitude cause it takes me too long to type it.)

And the boys...

Sad, but true...

I have come to the realization, my Alden Jiggle is not going anywhere on its own. What is Alden Jiggle... why its this little belly I have left behind from my dear third born child, Alden. You know him, the fat dog. We'll get to an update about him shortly.

I remember having no issue after Lincoln... I was back in normal clothes easily. After Emerson, not so much, but still... I could dress wisely enough to avoid looking like a total jiggler. I had to committ to the bathing suit suck in trick, but it was okay. (note, if you are reading this and even have to wonder what the bathing suit suck in trick is, you are instructed to eat a large milkshake and fries everyday from now until you do understand. thank you.)

So, now after Alden, the jiggle... it is here. I must begin to work out, not eat popcorn before bed, and gulp... I am giving up coffee. YES, I said it. I am going to cut back first, from two monstorous cups a morning to one. If I see the jiggle go away with that, I will not lose my head and cut out my coffee completely. I mean, I am committed to jiggle annihilation, but I do have my standards too.

Now, I know most of you do not care about this, but I figured if I put it in writing I would be more apt to follow through. Plus, my friend Lorena and I are aiming to run a 5K next year. HA, I am laughing as I write that, but we keep saying we are going to do it. Plus, you can run/walk this event so, we technically have an out.

Here is a picture of me and the Fat Dog at the Park. All joking aside, he is totally worth the jiggle. He had, literally, his first fussy day ever Wednesday. His bottom two teeth are coming in and he had a hard time napping in the afternoon. He got over it pretty quickly though. :)

He had been rolling over grandly from belly to back, and today, he finally got the back to belly. He is still a complete alligator with dry skin like I have never seen. I lotion him so much he slips out my hands like a greased watermelon. And that is all for the fatdog report.

SO, on to the latest PO adventure which I never did share. Chrissy and I are SO fond of the post office. (insert eye roll here) It was actually a few weeks ago. I was mailing a package to Kim. (Did it ever get there Kim?) and I was trying to be more prepared, and not lose my place in line, so I grabbed the customs form and filled it out whilst balancing my box on my leg. The line was actually near the table, but some man came in and gave me that look that said, "If you are writing at the table you are not in line honey and I will snatch your spot quick as look at you." So, I turned back to the line and wrote the form out there, hence the box balancing. Micah graciously waited in the car with the kiddos. As I wait in line I hear a lady in front of me ask for a sheet of the "Incredibles" stamps. She is mailing a card to her grandson she says, and he likes them. Cool, I think, they have The Incredibles on stamps. Now, I am thinking, like you, of the Disney movie. We'll come back to this in a moment.

I get to the front and she weighs my box, takes my painstakingly filled out customs form and says,

"Oh, I'm sorry. This is over 5 lbs, so you have to fill out a different customs form."

WHAT???? I wanted to yell, but, I did not. I maintained composure and thought of the fun at the back of the line. But then she says, "Here, fill it out while I weigh the other ones and just stay right here."

I almost cried little tears of postal joy.

And Kim, if the label looks like chicken scratch its cause I wrote it like a mile a minute, I was not wasting any time! After I get the packages done, I ask for the Incredibles stamps as well. She hands me a sheet of comic book heroes, you know like Marvel comic books. I was not about to tell her I wanted different ones and risk the chance of never being allowed line wait priviledges again, so I take the stamps and think, note to self, never eavesdrop at the post office. These are some butt ugly stamps, and I pride myself and cute stamp usage.

Here ends the blogging for today....

As always, here is some scrappiness...

Layout for Unpubbed:

And two new ones to add to the Time mini. (prompts by Ronda, this week, well, last week actually, was time for play.)

You know you are a mom when...

So, you know you are a mom when...
You sit in a little puddle of baby pee.
Yep.
I am serious.
Here is the story...
Jude spills the remains of a cup of water on the floor.
Jude neglects to clean up said little bit of water.
Jude bathes Alden.
Jude lays her clean little cutie pie in his towel (the adorable one from Greta) on the floor.
Alden wiggles his little chubby legs free.
Jude returns to lotion her little alligator baby.
Jude sits down and whilst lotioning, feels wetness.
Jude think this is the water puddle from before.
Jude keeps on lotioning and dressing the fat dog.
Jude sees her water puddle... several inches AWAY from where she is now sitting.
Jude realizes, this is not water...
This is baby pee.
Alden laughs giddily as he is questioned about his urination habits.
Sadly, I finished changing him before I ever changed pants.
I am officially a mom...

And since Chrissy informed me that I have been grossly negligent in posting photos of the fat dog here are some new ones...

And some new scrapbook pages...
First, this is a 6x6 mini for Ronda's challenges about TIME. Love the idea, will do the challenges, will be late with them I am sure... LOL.

And this is for Karla's Lift Me Up one
You lifted a LO of the person who posted a comment above you, or was it below you??? Well, anyhoo... I lifted Miss Essence... Here is hers

and mine

And speaking of Karla, she tagged me for 7 Randoms... Yes, here are 7 random facts about me. I will name 7 other taggees at the end, who shall post randomness likewise.

1.I sat in baby pee this week. (yes, you already knew that, but it is pretty random.)

2.I ate Quaker oat Squares before bed last night. I am a cerealaholic.

3.I was quite the hippy in high school, tie dying everything I owned and wearing tons of beads.I even silk screened Greenpeace t-shirts in art school.

4.I wipe out my fridge once a week after I go to the grocery store. I can't handle a dirty fridge.

5.I chew gum like a cow, and crack it incessantly.

6.I have become painfully forgetful in the last few years.

7.I always associate people's "scents" with them. Like when my sister Patti stayed here, the bedroom had her scent and after she was gone I went up there and cried and cried when I smelled it.

I shall tag: Beth, Nicole, Corey, Melissa, Dawn, Sarah, and Lesli...

And I am too lazy to go pasting all the html links to their blogs. Sorry. I am a blog loser today, but good grief, I started this post Monday and have had to "edit" it four times already so... there it is. Taggees with no links.
And finally i will go now...
I have coupons to cut, groceries to buy, and baby pee to sit in...
Have a lovely day.