Friday, February 28, 2014

Love and hurt...

My last blog was met with... mixed reactions.
I knew it would be.
I tried to prepare for it.

I received e-mails accusing me of being divisive,
damaging the body,
spewing my angry rhetoric,
and in general, not being a nice Christian girl.
I was told I should just move on "quietly".

That was hard, but as I said, I expected it.
I knew I was calling out something that makes us all cringe...
Maybe it is because I did not grow up in the "Bakery" that I find covering up these issues so distasteful.
A pattern of secrecy is not authentic to the message we try to share.

I did not do it to attack,
be mean,
damage the body,
or spew anything.

It was my last ditch effort to say hard things to people I love.
I had a Head Baker I loved.
I had a Bakery I loved.
I had friendships and community I loved.
I lost those things, and not for the right reasons.

I left with a heavy heart, that grew heavier still as lies were told,
people were thrown out,
and the truth would not be heard.

For the last year my heart has broken, daily, for the customers at that bakery.
Why?
Why not just say, "Screw 'em" and move on?
Because they were my family, my friends, my co-laborers.
I have shed more tears for that Bakery and her customers, and yes, even for the Head Baker.

Oh, I know.
You don't believe that part, about loving the Head Baker.
Some are saying, "You must really hate him to write that."
You could not be more wrong.
Hate can walk away.
Hate can say, forget you.
Sometimes love is not flowers and chocolates.
Sometimes, it is taking the person's hand and telling them hard things, because you love them.

When the softer approaches are met with rebuke, you take one or two with you.
When those are refused, you take more with you.
When those are refused, and you are cast out... your heart breaks.
I have been angry at actions, yes.
But I have never once stopped loving the Head Baker, the staff, and all the customers.
But sometimes, those you love, you must wound with the truth.
That is not unkind.
Or divisive.
Or angry rhetoric.
Or being a bad Christian girl.

For the last year, I feel like I have watched my "family" in a house that is on fire.
Yes, your room might not be, I get that.
But I have quietly tried to say, "I think it's hot in there."
"Is that a flame?"
"Do you smell smoke?"

My last blog post was the equivalent of finally yelling, "FIRE!"
I am sorry if the yelling hurt your ears, but not as sorry as I would be if you get burnt...

So, hate me if you must.
Lob every Bible verse about soft answers, and kind speaking at me.
I will take them.
I know my heart, and it's intent.
I also know Bakeries need to be clean to prosper, (and there are many that do) and I will not apologize for shedding light on that.

7 comments:

  1. Awesome post! Sin is sin period.. i have a friend living in sin and saying nothing to her is wrong.. you rebuked in love and compassion.. you could have publically flounced and u didnt.. thanks for being true

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  3. I felt only love and sorrow in your words when reading your previous post - and this one. Sometimes the truth is painful, and to share what you know to be true - especially when to keep silent is to cause harm - is the opposite of unkindness. It's tough to put yourself out there, especially in the digital age, when trying to have real dialogue is more difficult than ever.

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    1. thanks Sarah. I definitely think, as much as I love my "gadgets," I was born for the paper only era... ;)

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  4. Wow! Was that really an example of you yelling!? You sounded so loving and gracious!

    I just read your previous post and I know well the vitriol that can be poured out from those you loved and trusted :/ God bless you for truly loving! x

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  5. Jude, thank you for your last post. It wasn't harsh, it was true I just called one of my beloved friends that still goes to the 'local bakery'. My heart hurts so badly for the ones that I love and have been close to. Thank you for speaking out. I loved the creativity as well:).

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