Coupon Mama is back.
Who is Coupon Mama you ask? Well, you see, once upon a time there was a young cop and his wife, who had very little money to live on. The wifey diligently clipped coupons, and sought out sales. I mean, sales as in buying 60+ packs of diapers before Emerson's birth. (yeah, that was great and I never bought more until he was over 2 years old.)
Now, along came a new job and with it, a little more money. Sadly, Coupon Mama, she got lazy. She still stocked up on sale items, but was not nearly as diligent in her efforts.
Fast Forward to the present... $4 a gallon gas and milk, and why hello... look who is back... COUPON MAMA!
Now, here is where you will see the "Jude" in this tale, and why I say... put away your pride if you are going to coupon shop.
It was a lovely day, the sun was shining, CVS was open, and I had Extrabucks to spend. (those are the coupons for $$ off your next order that print on CVS receipts.) My friend Steve, a new lover of all things coupony, made sure I knew about the free deals at CVS... so off I went.
I loaded up a cart of deals, and after coupons and extra bucks, the total was 3¢.
YES, THAT SAYS THREE CENTS.
Well, guess what Coupon Mama had recently done... unloaded EVERY bit of change into the Salvation Army Bucket. So, there I am, realizing, I literally do not have three pennies to my name... I humiliatingly take out my credit card and the check out girls says, "Are you serious?"
I meekly replied, "Yes"
She rolled here eyes and said, "I will put in three cents for you later!" I think this was more of a you are a moron so I will put in 3¢, rather than a , hey I feel for ya' donation.
So... we move on to order number two. Oh yes, Coupon Mama knows when to split that order to make the most of her extrabucks. So the total for cartful number two...
67¢.
And yep, you guessed it... I am standing there, credit card in hand, and the cashier just looks at me like, 'Woman, I am NOT spotting you 67¢!' So, I embarrassingly swipe my card, and guess what...
You do NOT have to show ID for a 67¢ credit card purchase. Who knew!?
So, there you have it, keep a little cash with you, because really Coupon Mama was embarrassed despite her glee over all the freebies...
Toughen Up Lesson #2
You know I think I have a depression era woman living inside me. I feel the need to "stock up" when things are cheap. I mean, I had over 100 cans of green beans in my cupboard one time. (don't laugh they were 4/$1!!)
Well, there are certain things I LOATHE wasting money on. Sorry if you are male reading this, but get ready, the word tampon is coming up....
I DESPISE spending money on tampons, and curse Eve and her apple eating ways all the while I am paying for them! So... when I realized I could get them for 50¢ a box, well.... naturally I stocked up. Sadly, Coupon Mama brought her spouse and children in on this humiliation...
All the boxes of tampons left, they were at the tippy top of the shelf, and even I, in all my amazonish glory could not reach them. SO picture this...
Micah lifting each of my little rough and tumble boys to grab a few boxes. I mean, these are children who don't even have a clue of correct anatomical labeling! (and for future reference, never, and I do mean NEVER refer to male anatomy as "guys"... your young son will go in search of new friends in his underwear and ask "Where are they? I don't see any guys??") So, now those innocent, have no clue what we are even buying boys, are being hefted, I mean literally hoisted over Micah's shoulders to reach the tampons... it was quite a sight, and I thought it could not get worse. Then we realized even the hoisted boys could not reach the last few boxes. Poor Micah gave me that, "Really, do we need to buy EVERY box they have left?" look.
YES! COUPON MAMA IS BACK! I HAVE LEFT MY PRIDE BACK THERE IN A SEA OF $6.99 A BOX FEMININE PRODUCTS!
So, being the wonderful, amazing, and cool husband he is... he starts to do a neat little series of knock the box off the shelf jumps. We successfully reached all the boxes after about 12 or so jumps.
Even better than this...
The teenage check out boy's face when he rang up all those boxes of tampons... it was like watching a game of feminine product hot potato. He clearly wanted to touch them as little as possible and avoided all eye contact until we moved onto safer items like olives and cereal...
So, folks, by all means, clip those coupons, seek those bargains, but put on your thick skin... and your jumping shoes.
And here is some scrapping stuff of late. All products are from Memorable Seasons. :)
