So long HGTV, sniff...

Tis true, tis true. Back in March we made the final step in guaranteeing our children's future therapy needs by cancelling our satellite dish service. It is funny to me that people ask if it was a Jesus inspired decision. Well, yes and no. I did not spend a lot of time praying about it in the traditional sense, "Dear Lord, do you want us to upgrade to the gold channel package? Is this covered under the umbrella of Psalm 84:11?" We simply looked at what it cost us, what we got, and if we needed it.
It was soon realized that we would be saving $90 + a month, and the only thing we would be missing was the channel switch dash. The channel switch dash? What is that you ask? It is that lovely sport, wherein you are watching say, a cartoon, and all of the sudden there is an advertisement for erectile dysfunction cream. Seriously? Is this necessary? I am not even going to ask if its appropriate... at 1030 am...  on a Saturday morning...  to viewers of Batman.
And apparently, if you are in the fan base of anything on the history channel, your tampon needs are of utmost importance, as is a body wash that requires you to bathe in a forest, moan, and watch soap suds slide off your own buttocks.
There were other reasons we cancelled the satellite, aka child lazifier. Yes, another reason was the comatose stare and dazed, glassy eyed looks that came over my children, their lack of gumption to get up and throw a tissue in the trash lest they miss another hydroxi-cut commercial, and their inability to play. Inability to play? Really? Yes. Really.
When all your interaction with your siblings involves staring and sitting, you lose the ability to converse, cooperate, and even play. Am I really saying that too much TV made my children unable to play? Yes. Yes I am. I think it was stealing their imagination one couch potato day at a time.  Whenever it was turned off we were met with confused looks, and questions of "What do we do now? " I realized we needed to cut the head of the beast right off when we pointed them to the mudroom toy shelves and they asked, 

"What are these called again? " TOYS. 
"What do we with them? "  PLAY.  
"Is there a show about this we could watch first to see how its done, this 'play' thing? "  WHAT?!!?

Yes, I exaggerate a bit, but we really felt like we were letting the TV take over our time and our kid's little minds too much. Note, that operative word there... WE. As in, Micah and myself. We allowed the habit to start, and for own selves, we needed to just get rid of it. It was too easy to find something to watch on HGTV, and hello??? How can I not watch Tabitha's Salon Takeover? It is practically like continuing ed for me. Right? Eh, right???
So, yes...
*guilty of "not having time to get the laundry done" because I was too busy watching Kat Von Dee tat people.
*guilty of not being able to go to bed because I had to see what the chefs would do with that octopus and caramel in the dessert round on Chopped.
*guilty of yelling angry comments at parents on Toddlers and Tiaras...  you get the picture.

The boys and ME, we had issues.

We did keep netflix instant streaming, and after over a week of a total no electronics of any kind fast, we loaded up some Super Mario Brothers (yes, the one from the 80s. it makes my heart happy. we are indeed "hooked on the brothers") Pink Panther, and Diego, we are good to go. We now give the kiddos 30-45 min a day of TV or wii or ipod time. Yep, they gotta choose between the three. We will allow a bit more on a rainy Saturday or when a babysitter is here. If you can manage the TV better, please understand, I am not judging you. I salute you. I am too weak... too house hunting, sister wives, and Lifetime made for TV movie weak.

It is amazing to watch things like legos, puzzles, pillow forts, and drawing happening again in our home. I mean, its not perfect, these are three boys. They wrestle over the crayons, and a fist fight can escalate over a game of rummy, but its still better. A lot better. 

As for me, I am okay... until football season.

It's a List.

1. When your 3 yr old takes a massive dookey, comprised of lots of small turds, and declares with a cute grin, "That was a family! They want to go to the party!" you realize, that $1750 you just spent to fix your septic tank was worth it. This is a lie. I am still bitter that I spent as much to hear about the "Dookey Family"as my new camera would've cost. I'll think bitter thoughts every time I look at that part of the yard; the $1750 hole in the ground. Did I mention it cost $1750 and that I am bitter about it... oh, I guess I did.

2. I started reading The Book Thief. I am worried that I am too stupid for this book. *eta: I am now well into the book and am happy to announce, I love it, and get it. 

3. I love moments like this:

4. Amazon Prime has changed my world. I mean that. Sort of.  I had to add the "sort of"  because otherwise someone will send me an e-mail about how Jesus should change my world, and how someone could take this to mean I find all my happiness in Amazon prime. I guess sarcasm is a dead language for some. Not me.
(fyi : Jesus is first, always, then My Micah, then... well, I hate to say it, but that two day shipping is edging out the boys a little in ranking. Again, kidding. Sort of.)

5. Alden learned to climb a large tree in our yard. He has no fear, and likes only the thinnest branches of course. I will let you know where to send the get well gifts when he breaks his arm.

6. As if I didn't dislike MarieClaire enough, they went and put Miley Cyrus on the cover. Deal Sealed.

7.I just realized my first item was a whole paragraph... about poop and bitterness. Oh, and the $1750 dollars our crapper cost us... you know, in case you missed that.

8. I don't understand why self tanners can't smell better? Isn't there some sweet smelling chemical that change the color of my skin??? Sheeesh.

9. I ordered a groupon for some new pizza place, where you order the pizza but then you bring it home to bake. I am totally counting that as "cooking" dinner.

10. We no longer have any form of cable, satellite, antenna, etc. Guess what? I can still sleep at night without knowing who got voted off American Idol. (more on the no tv schtick later...)

That is all. Happy Tuesday.

Pen + Paper = Lost Art Form

A couple of weeks ago, I opened my mail box and found an envelope. Inside was a piece of paper with lots, no, make that TONS of writing... huh?
 Do you know what it was? A letter. That is where you write words on a piece of paper, with a pen or writing utensil of choice, and then put it in an envelope, and...wait for it...

MAIL IT TO SOMEONE! 

I know, crazy. It had been so long since I received an actual, honest to goodness letter, that at first, I wasn't sure what it was. What was my dear friend from Alabama mailing me? Too small to be a book, too big to be a card of some sort... what could it be??? I opened it to find... an actual letter. A whole page, front and back in her beautiful handwriting. I was delighted. Yes, DE-LIGHT-ED. I went in the house, and sat down in a comfy chair and read the wonderful words. I laughed at some points, nodded knowingly at others, and when it was done all I could think was "Wow, that made my day."

So, I returned the favor to her. I took a piece of copy paper, because hello? Who owns stationery anymore? I folded it in half, thinking I would never be able to write a whole page's worth. Um, yeah... FYI: if you are a chatty cathy in real life, you are a chatty cathy in the written realm as well. I filled up all four halves, and could have done more. My hand started cramping, and if hands could talk, mine was having flashbacks to last minute papers written in high school. (yes, we used to write our papers. shut your mouths you babes of the computer age.)

Anyhoo... my point is this... This week, grab a pen, some paper, and take a few minutes to write someone a letter. Not a note, not a card, but a real, honest to goodness letter. I believe there is even some Biblical precedent/example here, in that the New Testament contains "epsitles', aka letters to the churches. I just think we need a lot more hand cramping and a lot less, "Didn't you know?  I posted it on my facebook" in the world.

The B-Lo part 4... my mama

 Ah, the joy of going home to mom's house, where the coffee is hot and the creamer is from circa 2006. Oh, you think I jest? Check it out:

In my mom's defense, she never uses creamer in her coffee, though I still made sure to tease her incessantly about it. I am a nice daughter like that.  I actually wanted to write this post because my mom did SO many nice things for us... so I am thanking her publicly, and uh, making fun of her a little bit at the same time ;) Sorry, old creamer brings out the mean in me.

Here are some "Home is..." tales...

Home is where this is awaiting your arrival... My mom's apple pie. Its' my favorite and The BEST EVER. Absolutely, hands down, amazing. I tried not to share it with the boys, but they too, love apple pie. Bums.

 

 Home is where your mom even makes this pie, at your lemon curd loving request. Yes, it does taste as good as it looks...

Home is also where your mom does fun things like this with your children:

Sifting flour for homemade waffles. Oh yes, she didn't just make them, she had the kiddos all help her.

 

Washing breakable vintage dishes.

Homemade Donuts.

Have you noticed the theme here of HOMEMADE breakfast foods?!?! My mother got up every morning and prepared things like pancakes, donuts, bacon and eggs, and waffles. My children were a little in awe to find out that waffles don't always come from a box and go in the toaster. Micah was telling me to "take note" as my mom prepared him freshly ground and brewed coffee every morning. Which she served to him, along with the homemade breakfasts. I fired off some line about women's lib. When we got home Alden asked, "Mama, what are you making for breakfast? Waffles?" Alden, welcome home... I am "making" cereal.

 

 This photo has nothing to with food. I am merely hoping that my mom will read this and take note of my extreme love for this vintage jar and decide to give it to me now, rather than waiting for her death. Yes, she told me would "Put my name on it."  It was my grandmother's flour jar, so its not just the vintagey goodness I covet. Uh, Mom... are you reading this? 

A Hadji photo to close with. The cats had to live in the mudroom due to the fact that Hadji and Alden were having trouble breathing. By the end of the week, Hadji came up with this trick to pet the cats. Yes, those are tissues. Oh Hadji...

Thanks for a super fun week mom... you're the best! (and I am not just saying that so you give me that vintage jar. If it helps that cause though... so be it ;)

Getting crafty...

So, I have friends. Crafty friends. They make things like quilts, robots dolls, cupcakes with fondant owls, and other assorted awe-inspiring goodies. I like crafts, but would not call myself Martha Stewart by any means. I lack the patience for it. Yes, I love the idea of a quilt... but to learn how to follow a pattern and actually measure fabric? No thanks. The thought of pretty little fondant shapes atop cupcakes is indeed something I adore. The process of rolling out said fondant, and dying it, and all that mess... not for me.

I like to make jewelry. Earrings? 10 minutes and done.
I like scrapbooking. New layout to make? 15 minutes and voila... memory recorded.
I guess I am a fast food crafter. I want a drive through cupcake class or a quickly delivered quilt.

My friend Bridgette made me two camera straps for my birthday. Yes, MADE them. I mean, she literally got fabric, leather, and nylon  and MADE these straps. I was in awe. (suffice to say Bridgette is also gorgeous, smart, an amazing cook, and has a spotless house. I informed her if she didn't get acne or get fat soon, we could not be friends anymore.) (stop. I am just kidding. I'll take chubby... kidding again.)

So, last week under the careful eye of Sarah (aka crafter extraordinaire) we made shirts. She figured out this whole cute freezer paper + fabric paint= cute t-shirt plan. Perk number one: crafty friends who figure out the craft ahead of time. I did not start off this craft very well. I needed a dog silhouette for Hadji's shirt. I googled. I, of course, picked a dog that contained a virus and before I could say "save photo" my computer was blinking and beeping and things like "VIRUS ALERT. TROJAN DETECTED!!" were screaming across the screen.  Micah began the difficult task of de-virusing my computer, and  asking why I didn't just go buy a shirt at the GAP. (hello. any mom can do that! I am trying to be a crafty mom!!) Here is the finished product :

 

I will not share any photos of the craftier mom's shirts. Suffice to say, robots and flip flops make my dog look... sad.

Here is my idea of a good craft:

 Yes, it is a journal entitled "Wreck This Journal". I bought when I was still in the state of knockedupedness with Alden. It has had a lovely shelf spot since. The whole concept is that you... wreck, the journal. I am fairly confident I can do this one, and do it well. Maybe.

 Click on that photo above. You see, you get all sorts of instructions on ways to wreck the journal. At the end, you mail it back to yourself. Lincoln has been quite enamored with it since reading the page that asks you to burn it... I may get him one. 

Here is another craft I am able to do. it is called Project Life, and thanks to Corey and Nicole, and their willingness to answer my annoying incessant inquisitive questions about it, I took the plunge. You are basically documenting your everyday life, week by week for a whole year. I also forced cajoled encouraged Chrissy to do it as well. Woohoo for some positive peer pressure!

   

So, I have been trying to get my craft on. I may not be Martha Stewart, but I am tryin'...